His brows draw in. “I highly doubt that.”
“You’ve seen the pictures on the wall.” I take a bite out of the burger just to do something with my hands—to have something under my control, because my insides suddenly feel like a storm is ripping through it, tearing up everything in its path.
The juicy flavor of the meat hits my tongue and I pause, my eyes closing as I groan at the taste.
Oh my god. So good.
“Jesus, princess. I’m gonna feed you burgers every day if you sound likethatwhen you eat them.”
My eyes snap open, the burger dropping from my hands, guilt slamming its way through me.
Breathing deeply I count to three.
It was just one bite. No big deal.
“My mom died in childbirth,” I say, focusing on the pain of never knowing her so I don’t focus on the grease that’s coating my throat.
His lips turn down. He doesn’t apologize like most people, but then again, I wouldn’t expect him to. Jackson knows what it’s like to have fake apologies thrown at you by people who don’t know what the word truly means.
“It’s fine,” I rush out. “It’s not like... not like when you lost your dad.” I suck in a breath, hoping I didn’t cross into unwanted territory.
Jackson just nods.
“I never even knew her,” I continue. “You can’t miss something you never had.” I lift a shoulder, swallowing around the lump in my throat.
“Really?” he chimes in. “Sometimes I think that makes you miss it more.”
I stay silent, my fingers pressing into my palms, trying to slam the door on my grief—keep it locked up tight and forgotten in a corner.
“You sure that phone call wasn’t yoursweetheart?” I lash out, desperate to change the subject.
Jackson’s face tightens. There are a few seconds of silence where I think he won’t respond. Or maybe he’ll tell me to get the hell out and not come back.
“Her name’s Alina.”
I nod, her name spinning like a cyclone. “Oh.”
Alina.
The muscle in his jaw tenses. “Or Lee, that’s what everyone calls her. She’s one of my best friends, so the phone calls won’t stop. She’ll always be in my life.”
Jealousy scorches through me, squeezing my lungs and piercing my heart. Something nasty sits on the tip of my tongue, like asking why he’s friends with someone who clearly causes him so much pain. I pull it back, realizing I have no right.
But Ihateher.
She took a piece of him and is holding it hostage, somewhere I can’t reach.
“And you love her,” I whisper.
He takes a sip of water and nods. “We talked about this already.”
My chest tightens. “Let’s talk about it more.”
He sighs, tossing his napkin on the table and standing, walking around to kneel at my feet. His hands squeeze my knees, sliding up until they’re gripping my thighs. My stomach burns when he gazes into my eyes and everything in me wants to pull out from under his palms. Demand that hestoploving her. That he loves me instead.
But I don’t. Because out of everyone I’ve ever known, Jackson’s the only one who’s given me peace and never asked for something in return. So, I push down the envy and focus on the parts of him Idohave.
“Listen to me. I thought I was in love with Lee for a long time.” He shakes his head. “For years, to be honest. But what I feel foryou...” He trails off, his Adam’s apple bobbing with his swallow.