Page 138 of Beneath the Hood

He throws his arms to the sides. “So what was the problem, Blake?”

“I didn’t want you tohateme!” My voice rises. “Five, ten years down the line, you’d resent me for taking away the one thing you had left of him, and I couldn’t—” I gasp, emotion climbing up my esophagus and pouring out of my mouth on a sob.

“Shit.” Jackson walks closer until he’s right in front of me. “Don’t cry.”

His hands grasp my face, his thumbs wiping my tears, and even though I know it will make things hurt more when he walks away, I sink into his touch, reveling in all the ways he makes me feel.

Sniffling, I nod. “I’m so sorry.” I pause, taking in a deep breath. “I made a mistake. Aterriblemistake, and if I could take it back I would, but I—I know I can’t.”

He sighs. “It’s so easy to forget how young you are.”

My breath hiccups. “Do you think you can forgive me?”

He backs up, his fingers scratching the stubble on his chin. “I don’t know, Blake. There’s... you really hurt me. You gave up on us, and then you shut me out. You didn’tincludeme in choices that affected both of us.”

I nod, the slices in my heart bleeding with every beat. “I know,” I whisper.

“Where’s Sierra? She know you’re here?” His voice is sharp.

My chest burns with betrayal and I shake my head. “I fired her.”

His brows shoot to his hairline. “You did?”

“Yeah, right before I went to rehab.”

He rocks back on his heels, his eyes widening. “Rehab, huh?”

“Yep. Turns out, I’m a basket case. Who knew?” I laugh, running a hand through my hair, but it dies down quick when I see he isn’t amused.

“Did it help?”

“The rehab?” I smile. “More than I ever thought it could. Therapy is... life changing, to be honest. And so are the anti-depressants. I still have my moments, but what’s life without a little struggle?”

He nods, the left side of his mouth rising into a small smile. “Good. That’s—I’m really happy you’re healing, princess.”

The nickname is a sucker punch to my bruised-up heart. “Look, Jackson… I don’t have any fancy words. I’m not good at speaking things and making them sound pretty. I just have my truth. The one you’ve always seen.”

My eyes well with tears, the pressure in my chest feeling like it will burst at any moment. “And I couldn’t go on without you knowing that I see you too.”

His jaw clenches and I step forward. “I’ve made mistakes, and I’ll probably make a thousand more. But I’ll spend every day of my life trying to make it up to you if you’ll let me.”

His eyes are glassy as he stares.

“Do you think you’ll ever be able to give me another chance? To giveusa chance?” I ask, taking another step forward.

His eyes darken and the air charges with his answer before he even speaks. The hope drains out of my body, dissipating into the air.

My dad said to fight like hell, but sometimes, things are too damaged. Totaled.

Wrecked.

Nodding, my hand comes up to rub my chest. “Right. It was stupid to think you’d—”

“Would you juststopmaking decisions for me before I even have the chance?” he interrupts.

My breath stalls in my lungs.

He moves closer. “You messed me up, okay? I haven’t been able to sleep. I haven’t been able to eat. My every waking thought is of you. And that infuriates me because I should hate you. Iwantedto hate you.”

---