Page 130 of Beneath the Hood

I think he’s saying he doesn’t see her anymore, even though he loves her. Empathy sneaks from my chest and pours into my heart, knowing all too well what that feels like.

Turning onto a back road, I take notice of where we are and sit up straighter. I thought we were heading home, but this is on the other side of town, headed toward...

“Where are we going?”

“To meet your dad. He’s at Donahue Motors, so that’s where I’ve been instructed to drop you off.”

My heart flips, stomach sinking at the thought of running into Jackson. I had come to terms with never seeing his face again, learning to live just like my dad does—with a hole where my heart should be.

The thought alone sends a spike of panic through my chest. I recognize it immediately, but instead of trying to push away the feeling, I grasp onto it, closing my eyes and breathing deep. I tense up every single part of my body, stiff as a board and then slowly relax, focusing intensely on the relief of each muscle as the tension melts away.

There have been numerous types of relaxation techniques I’ve tried since being at Turning Pointe, but my favorite, the one that works the best, is progressive muscle relaxation—or PMR.

“Are you okay?” Lennox’s voice rises in alarm.

I don’t answer until I’ve finished the routine, feeling the stabbing panic fall away, control rising in its place. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just keeping the panic at bay,” I reassure him.

Lennox glances at me. “He’s not there.”

My chest pinches. “Who?”

“Jax. He left town right after you humiliated him on live television.”

My insides cramp. “I didnothumiliate him.”

Lennox pulls into the parking lot of Donahue Motors, driving to the entrance and pulling to a stop, the car idling. He twists his body toward me. “Blakely, be real. Any man would be humiliated by what you did.”

My defenses start to rise. He doesn’t understand why I did what I did, no one does, and that’s fine. I can live with that because I still don’t have to live with the guilt of knowing that I was the reason Jackson didn’t get the one thing he’s always wanted. “I did it to save his dream, Lennox.”

He clicks his tongue. “I don’t think he’d see it that way.”

My heart stalls as his earlier words filter through my brain. “Wait, did you say he left town? As in he no longer works here?”

“I did. It was all over the internet, I’m sure you can look it up if you want to see.”

Nausea rolls through me in tumultuous waves. “Paparazzi?”

Lennox nods.

“Damnit.”Frustration billows inside of me. “So everything I did was for nothing? He just left town anyway and threw away his dream?”

Lennox tilts his head, a sad smile creeping along his face. “Maybe his dream didn’t seem as sweet without someone there to share it with.”

Sadness and guilt mix together, forming a lethal cocktail, and I gulp it down like water, allowing the burn to flow through my insides and poison my blood.

It’s what I deserve, after all.

Forcing a smile, I lean across the center console, giving Lennox a hug. He stiffens but doesn’t push me away, and in Lennox’s world, it’s as good as if he squeezed me tight.

“Thank you,” I say. “For being you. You’re one of the most important people in my life. One of the only ones I can trust.”

His nostrils flare, the right corner of his mouth twitching as he nods.

“Are you waiting out here for me?”

He shakes his head. “Your dad said to drop you off.”

“Okay, well... see ya later. Thanks for the pep talk.”

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