Page 110 of Beneath the Hood

My heart jumps into my throat at his voice and I spin around from my crouched position. “Yeah, I didn’t bring anything with me, but your food choices are literally nonexistent. What have you been eating when I’m not here?”

He purses his lips. “You’re staring at a full pantry.”

I force a laugh, the ball of energy spinning faster in my gut. “This hardly counts as food.” I wave my hand toward the shelves. “I need something Ican eat, Jackson.”

He sighs, running a hand through his tousled locks as he walks closer, leaning his back against the kitchen island. “Don’t you get exhausted from all of this, Blake?”

My chest squeezes. “Exhausted from all of what, exactly?” I stand up and cross my arms, my defenses quivering from overuse.

He points to the pantry. “All of this. The never being able to eat anything other than what you’ve prepared. The constant fear of anything—anything—other than one-hundred-percent clean food entering your body. It’s no way to live, princess.”

My face grows hot, the earlier tension reigniting in my veins. “Are we really doing this right now? Youknowwhat my career demands. How important being healthy is to me.” I spread my arms to the sides. “This is how I live.”

His eyes turn down and he shakes his head. “Baby, this isn’t living.”

My heart stutters, disbelief dousing my insides.Is he really fighting with me on this?I clench my teeth, fury trickling slowly into my veins like the drip from an IV. “You’ve been with me for months, Jackson, and you haven’t said a word. And you choosenowto do this?”

“You’re right.” He nods. “I should have said something the second I realized.”

“Realizedwhat?”My voice rises.

He exhales, reaching his arms out for me, but my ire is stronger than my need for him in this moment—earlier betrayals making me see things through a fogged-up window, distorting the words before they hit my ears until I only hear accusations.

I step away, my back pressing against the cabinets on the wall. “Don’t touch me right now. Just tell me. You realizedwhat, exactly?”

His Adam’s apple bobs, his hands paused midair. Slowly, he drops them to his sides. “Realized that you have an issue, Blake. That you need help.”

Tears sting the back of my eyes, disgust at what he’s saying rising through me like rapids, choking the breath from my lungs until I’m spinning from the lack of air. “I’mfine.”

“You’re not.” His voice is firm, his eyes glassy. “How many times do you work out a day?”

“I—”

“When was the last time you just ate for pleasure, or hell, not even for pleasure, when was the last time you didn’t track every single thing that went into your mouth?”

Anger smolders inside my chest as he attacks, the smoke swelling my throat. My insides pull and release, the ball of nerves in my gut churning so fast it sends sparks to singe my edges.

I can’t deal with this right now. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

He groans, his hands running over his face. “Youneverwant to talk about it.”

“Because there’s nothing to talk about!” I yell. “I’m done with this conversation. I’m leaving.”

“You’re—wait, you’re what?”

“Leaving, Jackson. I’ve had a shitty day and I come here just to be attacked by you? I—”

A sharp pain radiates through my chest, the sting so sudden I hunch forward, my arm grasping the countertop.

One. Two. Three.

Closing my eyes, I focus on my breath, knowing I’m on the edge of collapsing. Of spiraling so fast I won’t make my way back out.

I need to leave. Go home to my gym and have my routine.

Normally, Jackson is enough to ease the storm raging inside, but for the second time in just as many nights he’s furthering the spiral.

“Blake, please...” He touches my back, his hand smoothing up and down my spine, and I don’t have the energy to push him off me. Opening my eyes, I fumble to the living room where I left my phone and do the first thing I can think of to get out of here.

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