Page 51 of Always. Forever.

“I didn’t, but it’s fine,” I assure him. “There is plenty of food. I hope you like Italian.” I smile at him, hoping he will push this tension aside, at least for tonight. To be honest, I should be embarrassed, he shouldn’t feel any type of way. He helped me when I needed it. I don’t know why he is acting weird.

“Sounds great.” He nods with a slight smile. I take this as a win, and Cash follows me into the apartment, closing the door behind him.

“Rylee, this smells amazing!” Bridget beams at me as I walk in the kitchen, putting the wine in the fridge and pulling out the already open one I have.

“Wine?” I ask.

They all nod while I pour us a little in each glass. “Dinner will be ready any minute if you all want to take a seat. I will just put everything in dishes on the table and you can all help yourself, if that’s okay?”

“Perfect, Ry,” Boh says, heading into the dining room. I dish up the food and take it one by one to the table. I sit opposite Cash with Bridge to my right and Boh next to Cash, opposite Bridge.

Bridget picks up her glass. “To Jace,” she says with unshed tears in her eyes.

“To Jace,” we all say, raising our glasses. Cash’s watery gaze meets mine briefly before we all take a sip of our wine and dig in.

Bridge tells us all about a new safari in South Africa she is thinking of going on. It sounds amazing, and when she shows us all the pictures, I’m instantly jealous. I contemplate telling them what I have decided, speaking of vacations.

“I’m going to go to the beach house,” I fumble out way too quickly.

“The one Jace booked?” Cash injects.

I nod, taking a sip of my wine, contemplating how I make them understand why I want to go there on my own. “I think it will be good for me to go, on my own. I was going to cancel it, and I know I told you all I was, but the more I thought about it, I just couldn’t.” I look down at my plate, moving my food around with my fork. “Jace booked that place for a reason. Yes, he wanted us to go there,” I say, blinking rapidly in the hope the tears don’t fall. “But now he is not here, I feel it’s only right I still go. He booked that with me in mind, I need to go spend the time there.” I take another sip of the wine. “I may even feel closer to him.”

Cash is side-eyeing me, and I know he is probably concerned because of what happened when he picked me up from the club, but I’m getting better. I will never forget Jace, but I know he would want me to live, and I know for a fact he would want me going to that beach house.

“I think it’s a lovely idea, Ry,” Boh says, and Bridge agrees. Cash stays silent, staring at the wineglass like it’s about to come up with all the answers to life.

We continue chatting, and Bridge tells me we can go clothes shopping for vacation stuff before I go. I tell her I would like that and said we will book a time nearer the day. Once we have all finished with our food. I tell them I bought a shop-owned apple pie, as desserts are not my forte. I’m awful at them. They all laugh and say they will have some in a bit.

I go to stand up and clear the dishes away, but Bridge tells me to sit, and she will do it all. Boh stands up, offering her a hand, leaving Cash and me alone. I know he is going to mention the vacation, so I just wait. We sit in silence for what feels forever.

“Do you think going on the vacation is a good idea, Ry?” he asks while twirling the little bit of wine left in his glass.

“I know what you’re thinking, but I’m in a better place now, Cash. I’m getting there, I promise.”

Cash’s eyes linger on me for what feels like forever but is probably only a few seconds. Then he just nods and excuses himself. I get up to go to the toilet and pop my head in the kitchen, and Bridge and Boh loading the dishwasher.

“Are you sure I can’t help with anything?”

“No, you’re good. Go put your feet up,” Boh calls out.

I smile at him and then pop down the hallway to the bathroom. As I’m walking back to the dining room, I walk past Jace’s office and the door is open. I keep the door shut at all times, so I know Cash must be in there or has been in there. I creep up peeking through the gap and see Cash sitting at Jace’s desk with his head in his hands. I move to go in and see if he’s okay and then stop when I hear his voice.

“I’m so sorry, son. I’m so, so sorry,” he cries out. “I don’t know how to make it stop, Jace.”

Stop what? What is he talking about?I stand there for a few seconds, contemplating whether to go back to the dining room and pretend I didn’t see Cash or go see what’s wrong. I know if I go back, I won’t be able to settle, and seeing him like this, sends a twinge to my heart. He has been there for me when I didn’t even realize I needed him.

“Cash,” I whisper, opening the door more so I can slip into the room. He wipes at his eyes hastily and stands up.

“Sorry. I was just . . . ahh!”

“There’s nothing wrong with coming in here and talking to him, you know, Cash.” He stays silent for a minute.

“I know.” He sighs. “I just feel close to him in here.”

“I get it.” I don’t say nothing else. I want to ask him what he meant when he was saying he doesn’t know how to stop it but he’s clearly upset right now. I don’t want to intrude and tell him I was listening in on his moment.

“How do you do it, Rylee?” Cash asks, breaking the silence.

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