Page 37 of Always. Forever.

He nods and swallows slightly before saying, “I’m terribly sorry, but there is no activity in Jace’s brain.” He pauses.

“So, what are you saying exactly?” I say, not understanding.

“Jace is brain dead,” he says with a monotone voice. “I’m afraid there is nothing else we can do, the ventilator is the only thing keeping Jace breathing.”

I sit in silence. Staring at the doctor. Trying to piece together what he said.No. I’m dreaming. It’s just a nightmare.

Wake up, Rylee.

“Wake up, Rylee,” I say to the room.

“I’m so sorry. I will leave you all alone together. I will be down the hall if you need anything.” The doctor walks out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I look down at my hand.

Pinch. Wake up.

Bridge screaming and sobbing fills the room.

Pinch. Wake up.

“My boy. Not my boy,” Cash sobs out.

Please wake up. Please.

Bridget has collapsed on the floor, crying into the ground while Bohdi is on his knees between Cash’s legs, hugging him while they uncontrollably cry.

I stand up and walk backward, I need to get out of here. It feels like the walls are closing in on me. I turn and run. I run away from the room, from the doom that has pushed me under the waves and is not letting me come up for air. I’m pushing everyone out of my way. I need to come up for air. I slam into the doors, the fresh air hitting my face, the air filling my lungs as I gulp it in. Collapsing to my knees, I stare up at the sky, and time stands still. Everything around me stops.

It’s that moment I realize, I’m not asleep, this is real, it’s all very real.

My Jace, he’s not coming back to me.

Chapter Eighteen

“Itfeelssogoodto be back with you, Ry. I missed you so much,” Jace whispers into my ear. I hug him tight, I can’t believe he is back here. I won’t question how he is here with me right now. I’m just so happy he is.

“I thought I lost you,” I sob into his chest.

I open my eyes and look to the side where Jace and I are standing. There are flowers everywhere. I lean away from his chest, taking in the scene, and we are standing in a field of flowers. I can’t see anything beyond the field. The flowers are all bright colors, and it’s then I realize they are tulips. We are standing in a field of different colored tulips, my favorite flower.

He grabs my chin.“Look at me, baby.” He sweeps the hair away from my face and grabs me by the cheeks. I get lost in his beautiful blue eyes. I’m so overjoyed to be here with him.

“You can never lose me, Rylee. I will always be here.” He drops his hand and points to my heart. “Don’t ever forget that, my Ry Bear. You will always own my heart in every way possible. I love you so much.”

He bends down and places a ghost of a kiss on my lips. “I love you so much too, Jace,” I whisper into his lips, holding onto him for dear life. He brings me close to him and holds onto me tightly. I melt into his arms, content at being surrounded by his smell and his warmth. He hugs me so tightly I feel like I can’t breathe, but I don’t care. If never breathing again meant seeing Jace, I would take my last breath right now. I don’t ever want Jace to let me go. I look up at him, and there’s tears glistening his eyes. Panic fills me. I go to ask what’s wrong, but Jace puts his finger over my mouth.

“Don’t ever forget, Ry. It’s us. Always. Forever.”

I open my eyes, and Jace is lying there, and I sob out, realizing seeing him was in my dream.Did he come to me in my dream?Realization hits me over what has happened in the last twenty-four hours.

“Nooooooo,” I scream out on a sob. I can’t hold it in, the sickness that fills my stomach hits me. I can’t believe my world has given up on us, on me. I’m leaning over myself, holding my stomach, everything hurts. Arms wrap around me from behind.

“I got you, Ry,” Boh whispers in my ear. Boh crouches down and holds onto me. I know I should be consoling him, but I can’t, I selfishly can’t think about anyone else right now. All I can think is I will never see those ocean-blue eyes staring at me again. I’ll never see the big glowing smile grace his face when he walks in from work and sees me. The way his eyes wrinkle when he smiles so big just because he’s happy to see my face. The way he calls me Ry Bear when he wants something. Or even his smell . . . Jace’s smell. I cry uncontrollably into Boh, this doesn’t feel real.How can this be real?

Boh holds me tighter, shaking while crying into my hair. I sit up slightly, and Boh loosens his hold on me while he looks at me. The grief and sadness I feel is shining back at me through his eyes. Blotchy marks cover his face. I stare into his eyes, and they are covered with red lines, and for a moment, they remind me of Jace’s, but they will never be my Jace’s. No one will ever be Jace.

“Please, tell me it’s all a dream, Boh. Please,” I plead, holding onto my stomach.

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