Page 32 of Always. Forever.

Cash pushes his hands through his hair, pulling at his roots as he walks back to the chair. Bridget rubs his back while staring at me, her chin trembles as more tears run down over her red, blotchy skin.

My body shakes as I drift my eyes away from them and onto the bed. It’s then I notice the person’s hand, my stare moves up their arm and then I stop, looking across to the other arm. Jace has the letterRtattooed on his wrist and I have the letterJ. I can’t see under their wrist, so I walk over with trembling hands, turn their wrist over, and see theR. I line my wrist up with theirs, and see theJ. I stare at both wrists. J & R. Jace and Rylee.

“No, no, nooo!” I scream out. I look up at his face, trying to see through the overflowing tears.Where is my beautiful boy?His face is so broken, I don’t even recognize him.

I double over, dropping to the floor beside him . . . the pain, it hurts so much. My heart physically aches. Two arms wrap around me and pull me to stand. I don’t open my eyes. It feels too real when they’re open.

I lay my head on a solid chest, crying uncontrollably.

“It’s okay, Rylee.” Cash’s deep voice breaks through my crying.

I break out of his hold and stare up at him, seeing my hurt mirrored in his eyes.

Anger invades me.

“Why did you let me see him like this? This is not my Jace!”

Bridget breaks out in more sobs, and instead of anger on Cash’s face, I see hurt. He’s hurting because his son, who doesn’t look like his son, is lying in a coma in front of him while a machine breathes for him.

“Why, Cash? Why!?” I scream and cry.

He grabs hold of me and pulls me to his chest, holding me tight.No. I don’t want him holding me. I want Jace.

“Get off me!” I try and wiggle out of his hold and punch at his chest.

“Let me go. I don’t want you. I want Jace.” I sob. Cash doesn’t let go. He just holds me tighter while I keep trying to punch my way out of his hold.

My strength is lost when it really sinks in.

Jace is on life support in a coma, and I don’t know if he will ever wake up from it.

In that moment, my body goes weak. I can’t feel my legs. Cash is the only thing holding me up while he squeezes me tight, caressing the back of my head.

I sob, I sob so hard I can barely breathe. I turn my head to the right while still resting on Cash’s chest, looking at my beautiful boy. I just want him to open those eyes so I can see his gorgeous blue eyes that light up every room. It’s in that moment that my heart shatters into tiny pieces, and the only person who can put it back together is Jace.

For the first time, I sob out, “It’s my Jace.”

Chapter Fifteen

IsitbesideJace’shospital bed, holding his hand, taking comfort in the warmth soaking into my skin. I can’t see much of his face due to all the bandages, but what I can see, I’m holding onto. I keep hoping his eyes flicker or give some sign that he’s here, with us. Cash is fast asleep on the other side of the bed.

I don’t even know what time it is, but I can’t fall asleep. What if he wakes and needs urgent medical assistance? I need to be here for him. Bridget went home as they said only two people could stay with him. I made it clear I was not going anywhere. There is no way I can leave Jace’s side. I keep praying I will wake up from this horrible dream, that I’ll turn around and see his beautiful face and his blue eyes staring back at me.

The constant beeping is a reminder that I’m not dreaming and this is very much real. Cash and the doctors were talking earlier, I couldn’t hear the exact words being said but I know whatever the doctors were saying, Cash was either not happy with it or he didn’t believe it. He stormed out of the room and when he returned, his face said he didn’t have time to deal with me, so I have let it be, but I will speak to Bridget when she is back. I’m sure he told her. I didn’t have the energy to argue with him.

I haven’t heard much of what happened, but I heard car crash and fire. I don’t think I want to know. It all hurts too much knowing my baby was in pain, knowing it was so traumatic for his body that his brain couldn’t handle it.

Cash stirs and slowly opens his eyes, and the first place he looks is at Jace, probably hoping to see his eyes open. He then looks at me.

“What did the doctor say to you earlier?” As much as I don’t want to know, I need to know what is going, I have every right to know. I need to know how serious this is.

Cash stares at me. He sits up more, leaning his arms on his knees as he drops his head to his hands. He stays like that for a few moments before lifting his head and running his hands over his face.

“They said the tests they ran showed a high dosage of Xanax and Valium in his system.” He sighs.

I sit there for a moment, taking in what Cash said. Xanax and Valium? Jace has never taken those.Nope. No way.I have never known him to need it.

“That can’t be right.”

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