Page 23 of Always. Forever.

He walks over to me, letting out a huge breath.

“You know, Ry Bear, I wonder what I did to deserve you.”

“Being you, Jace.”

He laughs and then plants a kiss on my forehead before walking toward the bathroom.

While he is in the shower, I prepare dinner. I’m going to cook his favorite tonight, chicken fajitas. As I’m cutting the chicken, I can’t help but think something big happened between Jace and James. Jace’s reaction to me getting a lift home from James and then Cash’s reaction. It’s as if they don’t want me around him at all. If something bad has happened or something has been said, I need to know. Like I said, I see James a lot. I don’t tell Jace every time because sometimes it’s simply a “Hey, you okay” as we pass each other on the street or bump into each other in the supermarket. I will wait for Jace to be less pressured at work and then sit down and talk to him about it and find out what happened. It clearly stresses him out. The fact Cash told him tohave wordsalso doesn’t sit right with me.

I jump out of my skin when he speaks. “You seemed deep in thought there, you okay?”

“Yes, of course, just thinking about what film to watch tonight,” I lie and carry on cutting up the chicken.

“I will go pick a film, no sad ones,” he reminds me.

I laugh and nod. “Okay. Deal.”

Chapter Ten

JaceandIarecuddled up on the sofa after eating our fajitas, watching his favorite film,Avengers: Endgame. He is a huge Marvel geek. He made me watch all the films over two weeks, and I honestly wanted to cry, but he always sits through my films, so I couldn’t say no. I don’t mind some of them, but a few are boring. I don’t dare say that to Jace, he is literally obsessed. His favorite isThor; he said if he could ever be a superhero, it would be him. I always tease and say,Why? Because you can get a time out to eat like shit and drink beer?I slyly know that’s the reason he would be.

I bought Jace Thor’s hammer one year for his birthday. It cost me an arm and a leg but to see his face was worth every penny. He gave the saying “like a kid at Christmas” a new meaning that day because I honestly don’t think I have ever seen him so happy. His face soon dropped when I called it a hammer. He said, “It’s a Mjölnir, Rylee. Nothing like a hammer.” It’s like a large version of one. Anyway, he has it on display in his office, along with loads of other Marvel memorabilia he has collected over the years.

I still can’t stop thinking about earlier, a part of me is dying to say something too, but I know I’m probably being silly. I hate ignoring that sick feeling in my stomach like something is going to happen and you can’t pinpoint what.

I lie between Jace’s legs while he is stretched out on the sofa. I have my head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat. If I’m ever anxious or worried about something, his heartbeat soothes me. It brings me down to earth and makes me realize how perfect my life is with him and that I have nothing to worry about.

“You okay, baby?” Jace asks.

I frown. “Yeah, of course, why?”

He stares at me as if he’s trying to think what to say. He strokes my hair again, knowing I love when he does that. He smiles.

“I just know it’s the anniversary of your mom’s death tomorrow, and I want you to know I’m always here for you.”

There’s a painful twinge in my heart. I’m not great at dealing with my feelings, and Jace knows this but always wants me to be more open with him. I treat the anniversary of my mom’s death like any other day. Once I think about her too much, I get in a deep hole of grief, so I tend to just not think about her. I know it sounds terrible, and friends, including Jace, have told me it’s not the best way to cope with my feelings, but it’s my way of dealing with them, and I want to keep it that way, so tomorrow will be like any other day. I do, of course, think about her now and then, but I tend to not let myself dwell on it. Losing her was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through, and if it weren’t for Jace, I honestly don’t know what I would have done.

I was with Jace when I got the call saying she had been taken to the hospital. She caught pneumonia and was really ill. I went straight to the hospital, and I remember walking in the room and seeing her face, she looked awful and could barely speak. She had chronic obstructive pulmonary disease from smoking, so the pneumonia was not helping. The doctor told me it had started to cling to her other organs, along with having a heart murmur, so she was not doing well. They told us she had fluid on the kidneys and lungs and needed it drained. I sat with her and talked about random stuff, and she was laughing along, so I thought she was getting better.

I got a call that night saying she had passed away. The fluid spread rapidly and went to her heart, and they had been prepping her for emergency surgery to drain the fluid, but she didn’t make it. I have never felt pain like it. I cried in Jace’s arms for weeks. She was more than my mom, she was my best friend. That was three years ago. I mask those feelings now because it hurts like you wouldn’t believe, and I can’t put myself back there again, and I know my mom wouldn’t want me too either.

“I know you are, Jace. I love you. But I’m honestly fine.”

I continue watching the TV. I know what day it is tomorrow, but I was hoping Jace might have forgotten about it. I don’t want to talk about it, and I don’t want him treating me as if I will break.

Bridge always rings me or pops around on the day too. I had lost my nan the previous year, and my dad has never been around. Being an only child sucks because now I have no family. I have an uncle, but he wasn’t close with my mom, so I rarely speak to him. That’s why I love Bridge, she feels like my aunt, even a second mom sometimes. Without Jace and his family and my friends, I have no idea where I’d be, but I can’t imagine it would be a good place.

Chapter Eleven

Ithoughtitwasbest I came into the office today instead of staying at home. As I walk through our office doors, I’m met straight away by my colleague, Rachel, holding a coffee outstretched in her hand with a huge smile on her face. She is a dream and the best colleague a girl could ask for. If you’re behind on work, or just generally need help, she’s your girl. She has stayed in the office with me past midnight before for clients that weren’t even her own, but she knew if she didn’t, I would be here until the following morning. That’s the kind of girl she is. She is also one of my closest friends.

I flash a big grin to her.

“You’re my lifesaver, thank you so much. You don’t understand how much I need this,” I say as I grab the takeaway cup out of her hand.

I work from home most days, but when I come into the office, she always has a takeaway coffee waiting for me.

“I missed you,” she says as she pulls me in for a hug, avoiding the coffee in my hand.

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