Page 47 of Heart of a Rebel

“You’re mad at me.” It’s not a question. His body language makes it clear, but it forces me to roll my eyes. “I’m not defending myself with you.”

“You don’t have to,” Rome says, and I turn to see him still looking at me intently. After a beat, his gaze moves to my brother. “Be pissed all you want, man, but direct it at the right fucking person. It’s not her fault someone did this to her. When and if she wanted to share this shit with us isn’t on her either.”

Rome isn’t one to involve himself in band meetings. Sure, he shows up, but generally, it’s with a joint in hand and a woman waiting for him back on his tour bus. But right now, not only is he present, he’s fully here, staring Sebastian down. And I wonder what dark secrets from his past scratch at the surface as he does.

“We’re here for you.” Rome slides a tattooed hand across the table and places it over my own. “Nothing else is going to happen.”

I nod, biting back the tears building. I might have been ready for all of them to know, but I’m not ready for them to see me cry. As I slide out of the bench seat, Sebastian stands up to meet me.

“I’m sorry, El.” He wraps me in his arms, and even if he pisses me off more than anyone else on the planet, the familiar smell of his wintergreen gum and leather jacket takes me back to when we were kids and he’d sit with me on the porch while Mom disappeared. “I’m just… this isn’t about me. I need to do something, but I can’t. And I just wish I could go back and—”

“Don’t,” I break the hug and look at him. “If there’s anything years of therapy has taught me, it’s that at some point you have to stop looking backward because you can’t change it. All we can do is move forward.”

He pulls me in for another quick hug. “We’re going to move past it, once and for all.”

I hope he’s right, because six years is enough, and I’m really not sure how much more I can take.

“All right, I’m going to go lay down for a bit. We take off soon anyway.” I pull away from my brother.

Sebastian nods, and Adrian stands up, reaching for a bag I hadn’t noticed sitting on the floor beside him. He tosses it over his shoulder and nods his head.

“What…” I start, but then I notice him and Sebastian looking at each other. “No.”

“No?” Sebastian doesn’t look amused.

“I don’t need a babysitter.” I cross my arms over my chest. “I’m not a kid at mom’s house anymore, Adrian’s not sleeping on my floor.”

“True. I was hoping for at least a couch.” Adrian’s face is stone cold when he says it, but it brings a bubble of a laugh from my brother.

“Come on, El.” Sebastian grips my shoulders. “That fucker got on your bus. We still haven’t figured out how that’s even possible, but I don’t trust any of our security guys if they let that happen. Adrian offered to ride with you just to keep an eye on things.”

“Offered?” I quirk an eyebrow.

“I might have asked him.” Sebastian shrugs.

I shake my head.

“It’s fine.” Adrian takes a step forward, and I’m not sure if it’s my imagination, but the entire bus spins a little. “I’m sick of the snoring on my bus anyway.”

He’s been riding with some of the crew this tour. We offered to get him his own space, but the guy is minimalistic, so he turned us down.

“Don’t fight me on this.” Sebastian squeezes my shoulders and his eyebrows pinch.

As annoying as it is that they worked out this ridiculous plan behind my back, I know it’s only because they care. They’re trying to control the situation in any way they can, and I get it. That’s been me for years.

“Fine.” I sigh, and Sebastian gives me a hug before letting me go.

I look over my shoulder at Adrian and nod my head once for him to follow as I make my way off the bus, knowing this is a bad idea even if it’s for my safety. Staying at Adrian’s house was one thing. There were walls I could hide on the other side of.

But my bus? There’s no escape.

This is probably my brother’s worst idea ever, and I’m not sure he even realizes it.

17

Adrian

Replayingtheeventsofthe night I walked Eloise to her hotel room after leaving the club doesn’t change the outcome of it. But it doesn’t stop me from mentally looping until I feel like my brain is going to snap.

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