Page 12 of Heart of a Rebel

“You could manage us. You’ve got your shit together.”

I can’t help but laugh because I’m sure it seems like I have my shit together from the outside. Little does Sebastian know I’m barely hanging on most days.

“Appreciate the offer.” I shake my head. “But I don’t know shit about music. You’re better off finding someone who knows what the fuck they’d be talking about.”

“El and I have the music part covered.” Sebastian looks over at Eloise, and I realize she’s been standing there listening intently.

Confusion and thought pool in her eyes as she nods.

“Music’s the last thing I’m worried about,” Sebastian says. “What we’re gonna need is people in our corner who won’t fuck us just because we’re making them money. And you’re good people, Adrian.”

“And you’re drunk,” I point out.

Sebastian smiles so big a girl standing beside him gets hearts in her eyes. Give this guy a stadium and the world is in fucking trouble.

“Indeed I am.” He grins. “Doesn’t mean I’m not serious.”

He shakes my shoulder before stepping back, sweeping his dark blond hair off his forehead.

“Think about it,” he says, sitting back down on the couch beside Myth and joining in on their conversation.

I look over at Eloise, who’s standing there with an unreadable expression on her face. She shrugs one shoulder, and I’m not sure what that means. If anyone can recognize a bad idea, it’s her, but that’s not what her expression is telling me.

I try to ignore it and brush it off.

Sebastian’s drunk and not thinking straight right now. Just because I’m a few years older than them and seem to know what the fuck I’m doing with my life, doesn’t make it true. I’m a landmine one step away from exploding most days.

I’m a man who spent eight years of his life thinking he was working for one thing, only to come out the other end with nothing to show for it other than night sweats and a bum shoulder.

I’m barely managing my own shit right now. Taking on someone else’s—a whole fucking band—that’s a bad idea waiting to happen. Not only do I know nothing about the industry, but I barely know anything about music.

I might be a fan of Enemy Muse since their sound doesn’t make my ears bleed, but beyond that, I don’t know shit about the music industry.

“He’s not wrong.” Eloise breaks my train of thought, moving to stand right in front of me. “You’re thinking about it.”

I shake my head. “Not exactly.”

I’m checking off a long list of reasons in thebad ideacolumn.

Eloise shrugs her shoulder. “We trust you, Adrian.”

“And that’s enough?”

Her dark eyes narrow, thinking that over. Golden flecks sparkling in the depths of them. “Who knows? But it’s something.”

Eloise turns and walks away, stopping when she gets to the edge of the room to look at me once more over her shoulder. The faintest smile ticks up in the corner of her mouth and it’s downright dangerous. A siren with honey brown hair spilling over her shoulders, calling out to me.

I have no doubt that three weeks from now, everything is going to change for the band. Sebastian, Rome, Noah, and Eloise will be those people on the radio I’ll hear and remember fondly someday. I’ll remember how they recorded their demo in my den and caused havoc in my house with their parties.

But I can’t join them. I’ve barely found my footing after having the ground literally blown out from underneath me.

When the time comes, I’ll say goodbye, and let the emptiness claim me again. Just like I deserve.

5

Eloise

PullinguptoMom’shouse, I realize I’ve traded one party for another. Cars spill down the driveway and into the street, and I can hear the music blaring before I even open my car door.

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