Page 83 of Heart of a Rebel

Breaking his stare on the altar, he looks down at me and shakes his head. “Just memories.”

I nod in understanding because so much of what we carry around isn’t physical. It’s the weight of something intangible we have no way of releasing. And like Adrian seems to be, I feel my own burdens now more than ever.

“Let’s sit.” Adrian tugs me along, finding a bench in the back of the makeshift room for us to sit on.

It’s a warm night, but he still covers us with the blanket he’s been carrying, and I love how it makes us feel like we’re in a cocoon. Looping his arm under my knees, he turns me so his arm is hooked around my back and my legs stretch over his lap.

I rest my head against his shoulder and take a deep breath.

True safety isn’t something I’m used to, but all it takes is Adrian’s arms to make me feel like I’m somewhere I can’t be harmed. It’s not just that he’s large and is solid muscle. Or that he has a stare that intimidates even the strongest, most intimidating people. It’s that I know, without a doubt, he would never willingly let anything happen to me.

Body or heart.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” He brushes my hair off my cheek.

“I was just wondering what we are.” It’s not what I meant to say, but my defenses are down, and I can’t help slipping.

Adrian’s hand freezes, before falling to my thigh. “To each other?”

I nod against his chest.

“What do you want us to be?”

“You’re good at that.” I chuckle.

“At what?”

“Answering a question with a question.”

I look up at him and there’s something foreign in his eyes. Frustration maybe, but I don’t give in.

“What do you want us to be?” I repeat his own question because he’s always throwing the ball in my court. Except right now I don’t trust that I won’t throw myself at the mercy of him without knowing his intentions.

“I already told you.” His expression stiffens.

“No, you told me if this ends it won’t be you who does it.” I shake my head. “But you never said whatthisis.”

I’m sure I sound pathetic. Feminist Eloise Kane begging a man for an answer. Desperate for him to claim her, whether he realizes it or not. Somehow in this space, I’m willing to admit it’s the truth. Sitting at the altar of clarity, I want to see it all—including him.

Adrian squeezes my thigh with his large hand. “I want you to be mine.”

Mine.

Something about that word sends a shiver all the way through my bloodstream. It’s the controlling, possessive side I’ve always known exists in Adrian shining through. He doesn’t say, boyfriend and girlfriend. He doesn’t place labels that mean nothing more than a relationship status on social media to him.

One word and he claims me fully.

Lifting my hand to his cheek, I trace the line of it with my thumb. “I already am.”

One word and I let hesitation turn to dust, knowing I tell women not to lose their hearts over a man, and doing it anyway. Except, I trust him to know he won’t let me disappear as I hand myself over.

Adrian cups the side of my neck with one of his hands. “Good.”

A man of few words, but he uses all the right ones to make me puddle at his feet.

Leaning in, his lips brush over mine before he claims my mouth, and I crave his possession. I’m a conquest and he’s intent on taking it all. No survivors. No mercy.

The arm he’s looped around my back, pulls me closer so that I’m tugged onto his lap. I don’t break the kiss when he does, sinking deeper instead. I search for every moment we’ve wasted in this kiss. Every secret I should have told him sooner. Every part of myself I buried in him and have been longing for.

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