SeeingEloiseinasexy little red dress might have sent my blood pumping, but it still pales in comparison to the sight of her in baggy sweats and an oversized T-shirt. Her sandy brown hair’s tied loosely in a tumble on the top of her head and there’s not a swipe of makeup covering up the galaxy of freckles painting her cheeks.
Alone on her bus, away from the cameras, she allows me a glimpse of her raw. And I swear this girl is a warhorse on a path of conquest through my heart. Slowly consuming the last beating fragments.
I’m a mess for her.
At her mercy.
Completely.
“It’s harder than I expected keeping this a secret.” Eloise drops down onto the couch beside me.
She tucks her feet up underneath her as I open my arm to welcome her at my side. She’s still warm from the shower and her hair is fuzzy and untamed. Her scent is a secret garden I’m already so far lost in, I stopped searching for an escape.
As much as I usually dread being on tour, occupying her bus isn’t something I mind. It feels like nothing can touch us here—touchherhere. On the road with the world passing by, she’s only mine.
“You’re anything but a secret.” I squeeze her against me.
She melts at my touch. Literally going soft and liquifying to my side, seeping through my pores with the kind of trust that I know is her handing me her life. The thought alone will do something to a guy’s head. It slams against doubt like a wrecking ball, destroying any chance of me getting out of this whole.
Eloise sighs and it relaxes her further.
“What?” I grip her chin between my thumb and forefinger and tip her face up to meet me.
The three little lines that wrinkle her forehead when she’s nervous are prominent. For a girl who tries to uphold the impenetrable wall so no one can break through, there are certain things impossible for her to hide from me.
The crinkle of her nose, the blush of her cheeks, her voice going up an octave. Small tells she buries as soon as she realizes they’re showing. They peek the truth out from where she tries to hide it.
Only, it doesn’t matter what her blood rushing to the surface of her skin or her fleeting expressions tell me, there will always be more working inside. Endless earth. A jungle on the outside, wild roots beneath.
“El?” I release her chin.
“We aren’t saying anything.” She sighs.
“About?”
“Us.”
Us. I like the sound of that word a little too much.
“Do you want to?”
“I don’t know.” Eloise frowns, but I’m not sure what elicited her reaction. She tries to lean back, but I tighten my hold because I’m not ready to watch her pull away. “What if things don’t work out? We could mess up everything.”
Mess it up.
Decimate it.
Demolish it.
All things I’d be fine with looking in her eyes and holding her against me. I’d unleash complete annihilation of everything I’ve built if it means not losing her, and that’s a scary fucking thought. Because I’m not a man known for being reckless, in business, life, or relationships.
My steps are lines of a map, carefully placed. But Eloise makes me want to go off the path, straight into the minefield that might give out at any second beneath me. And something terrifying creeps up in those safe places I’ve hidden in.
This could rip everything to shreds, and I honestly couldn’t care less.
I wrap my hand around the back of Eloise’s neck, digging into her hair and fitting the pads of my fingers against the soft flesh of her scalp. I pull her until she’s a fraction away from my face, and her breath might as well be the only thing that’s keeping life flowing.
“Eloise, let me be clear.” I tighten my grip. “If this doesn’t work out, it won’t be on me. It willneverbe on me. It wasn’t back then, and it sure as fuck won’t be now.”