Page 36 of Heart of a Rebel

Wonderful.

I don’t realize I said it out loud until all eyes move in my direction.

“I don’t know why we agreed to this.” I feel myself getting defensive now that my feelings are known. “Like they don’t already have enough of us.”

Adrian tucks his phone in his pocket and crosses his arms over his chest. “It was in your contract for the tour. With any luck, they’ll sell the documentary to a streaming service to hype the next album.”

“Who says we’re even writing anext album?”

Sebastian quirks an eyebrow at that, but I ignore him. Just because they’ve been running us thin for years doesn’t mean we can’t get a break.

“They assumed—”

“Well, they shouldn’t,” I cut Adrian off, handing my guitar to a roadie who walks up for it. “I’ll do the interviews, finish out this tour, but after that, I don’t know.”

Noah steps forward, looking like he wants to say something, but Merry holds him back. I appreciate that about her. Noah might always want to play peacekeeper, but sometimes you just have to let people get it out, and if anyone understands, it’s her.

Adrian clenches his jaw, but the slightest pinch between his eyebrows tells me he isn’t frustrated, he’s worried.

I’d know. I’ve seen enough of it on all their faces for the past eight months. Apparently, while the guys are allowed to spiral whenever they want, I’m not. God forbid I step out of line for once.

“We’ll talk tomorrow.” Adrian nods, ending the conversation.

I hate how he can do that. How at one point he felt like an actual person, and now he’s become so much of a barrier between the band and the rest of the world, I wonder if his insides have morphed into an actual wall there’s no climbing.

Instead of arguing or pointing out the fact that it’s my life and I should get an actual say, I turn and walk away, ignoring Sebastian who tries to call out for me. They’d prefer I keep my mouth shut and do as I’m told—always have. The trouble is, after six years, it’s becoming increasingly difficult.

I turn the corner and step outside of the stadium, and I’m struck by the chill of a cool breeze that makes me shiver. A group of people huddle against the side of the building, and I recognize a group of crew members waiting for the buses to be ready. A few eyes dart in my direction, but I keep walking, not in the mood to be friendly.

Just as I’m almost out of earshot, I overhear something that freezes me in place.

“Can you picture Adrian married?” Quinn, our Social Media Manager, tightens her neon blue ponytail and shakes her head like she can’t believe it herself.

Stacy straightens up at Quinn’s question and brushes her hands over her dress slacks, looking out of place to be standing outside a rock concert. “He’s been dating Becca for almost a year now, it makes sense, right? I don’t think Adrian’s ever dated, so that’s got to mean something.”

“Hopefully she says yes then.” Quinn smiles, but when her eyes find mine through the group of people, it falls. “Eloise.”

The group turns, and I realize I’m frozen, staring at them. I try my best to recover, rolling my shoulders back and forcing a smile. “Just heading to my bus.” I jut my thumb in the direction of it and turn to keep walking.

Quinn jogs up beside me. “Eloise, wait.”

She grips my arm and turns me to face her.

“I didn’t see you standing there.” She frowns. Her cheeks are flushed, and her eyes are wide, searching me for a reaction.

“It’s okay.” I shrug, wrapping my arms around my center when the wind kicks up. “So, Adrian’s proposing to Becca then?”

I try to sound nonchalant, but the pity on Quinn’s face proves I’m not pulling it off as well as I’d like to think.

I can’t help it. This is Adrian we’re talking about. Sure, he and I never actually dated, but some pathetic part of me held on. Especially since he’s avoided relationships as much as I have. Not dating anyone seriously, never seeming attached.

He might have had the occasional girlfriend when he was in the mood and screwed a groupie or two when it was convenient. But he isn’t like the guys in the band. He was discreet.

Part of me thought it was for my sake.

Apparently not.

I should have known his relationship with Becca was different. He’s been with her for almost a year now—I guess. She didn’t join us on tour, and he doesn’t mention her, but Adrian’s not an open book. I should have known they were still together even if part of me wondered—hoped—they had split.