Page 18 of Searching the Skies

His mouth set in a straight line, and she couldn’t interpret the expression in his eyes. “I didn’t expect you to. You don’t want to be on this planet any longer than necessary.”

“No, it’s not that.” The voices in her head screamed at her to turn around and leave, to run, to run far away, but her friend had always been honest with her and she owed him the same courtesy. “I’ve been seeing someone, another officer.”

There was no change in his visage. “Good. I’m glad.”

Geneva glanced at the floor, a mixture of guilt and sadness knotting in her throat. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Don’t be. You were perfectly clear with your intentions the last time you left.” His tone remained neutral. “I knew what was and wasn’t possible for us.”

“If things were different…”

“But they’re not.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “And you just told me how much difficulty you’re having with trying to figure out where you belong. I don’t want to make it any worse.”

Anger was an easier emotion for her to handle, so she switched gears. “Damn it, Marcus, why do you always have to be so reasonable about everything?”

He maintained his cool gaze. “What do you want me to do? Beg you to stay? Tell you to throw away everything you’ve worked for to come back here, and for me? Do you really think I’d expect you to walk away from it all?”

“No,” she snapped. “I thought I’d made it blatantly obvious I don’t know what I want.”

“Well, I couldn’t let myself hope it would ever be me.” He tilted his head to the side, not bothering to brush away the hair falling into his eyes. “You’ve already made your decision. It was made long ago. This isn’t your home anymore, and it’s never going to be.”

Geneva yearned to run to him, to wrap her arms around him, to hide her face in his chest and let the two of them disappear from the outside world, but she knew she couldn’t. “I’m sorry,” she said again. He didn’t answer, and she grabbed the doorknob. “Good-bye, Marcus.”

“Good-bye.”

Her chest tightened as she left, and she willed herself not to look back at him. If she’d anticipated how difficult it would be to see him and tear herself away a second time, she never would have come, but she had to live with the consequences. As much as it hurt her, hurt both of them, the only fair thing to do was to never return, to vanish as she had done almost a decade ago. They had lived without each other for so long, he’d adapt to her absence again, she tried to assure herself. As she prepared to travel back up to the ship, she knew it would be harder for her to do the same.

Chapter Nine

The cool darkness of Geneva’s quarters comforted her as she lay on her back, still dressed, one hand resting on her forehead. A knock at the door disrupted her thoughts, though she’d been expecting it. Though tempted to ignore the intrusion, there was no sense in delaying the inevitable, and she stood up to open the door for Ash.

“You look like hell,” he said.

“Thanks.” She rubbed her eyes. “It’s been a long day, and rapid teleportation doesn’t always agree with me.”

“Teleportation? Where did you go?”

She returned to the bed and flopped onto her stomach. “Pasurea,” she said into the pillow.

He sat beside her. “To see your parents?”

“No.” Geneva turned her head to the side. “Remember the old friend I told you about? I went to pay him a visit. You know, just to talk things over.”

“Oh.” He blinked. “And it didn’t go as well as you’d hoped?”

“I don’t even know what I expected.” A long pause elapsed as she considered how many details she wanted to disclose. “He suggested I give my parents one more chance and discuss things with them without getting upset or angry or rolling my eyes one too many times.”

Ash nodded. “So, is this what you’re going to do?”

“I guess it couldn’t hurt.” After another extended silence, she bolted upright, knocking into his arm. “Come with me,” she blurted out.

“What?”

“Come with me. To Pasurea.” For once, the planet’s name didn’t leave a bad taste in her mouth. “We’ll go on a weekend, spend a day or two down there.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why do you want me to go with you?”

Geneva pulled her legs closer to her body and rested her chin on her knees. “I feel like I have these two separate lives, like I’m caught between two worlds, trying to be two different people. Maybe if you came with me, it would be like bringing a part of this place down there, and everything would start to make more sense. It could help show them how I’ve established a life for myself without their input.” She glanced to the side. “I don’t know, it sounded better in my head,” she mumbled.

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