Page 104 of Sinful Kingdom

“I want everything, Alex. Always. No matter how hard or painful or ugly, I want everything with you. Of course, that’s if you want—”

“Everything with you too?” I finish for her. Holding her chin between my thumb and forefinger, I lean forward and nudge her nose with mine. “There’s nothing I want more. I’ll tell you anything you want. No more secrets.”

“No more secrets,” she promises, sealing it with the gentlest of kisses.

25

EVIE

By the time Alex finished shredding my heart to pieces by giving me a play-by-play of his and Zay’s time as prisoners, he could barely keep his eyes open.

We lie with our arms and legs intertwined, him seeking comfort, me just holding on for dear life as the reality to how close I came to losing both of them settling within me.

He was up on that cross long before I turned up at the front door.

If I hadn’t… what might have happened?

Would they have got him down eventually so they didn’t lose their new playmate, or would they have left him up there to bleed to death?

A violent shudder rips through me, my muscles tingling with my need to do something, to hurt someone for what they did to them. But it’s over. There’s nothing left.

I played my part. I helped to bring them down.

That should be enough. But listening to his confession, looking at him with his shirt still hiding his arms… It hurts more than I ever thought possible. It would be easier to deal with if I were the one who was suffering.

Leaning forward, I press a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose. He doesn’t so much as flinch.

After a few more moments watching him, I untwist myself from him and climb from the bed as softly as I can.

Grabbing one of his shirts as I pass his chest of drawers, I slip into the bathroom and close the door behind me.

The shower at Stefanos’s house might have been as good, as powerful as this one here. But it didn’t have the memories that make a smile pull at my lips as I step under the spray that this one does.

Closing my eyes, I allow myself to get lost in thoughts of my first time here. I was so concerned that night about Alex taking his attack on Grant too far. But knowing what I do now, maybe another hit or two might have changed everything.

With a pained sigh, I reach for his shampoo, just like I did at Stefanos’s despite Blakely ensuring I had my own brand waiting for me. The lure of his scent, of being surrounded by memories of him was just too much to deny.

Alex is still sleeping soundly when I emerge, and I cave to my need to do something. Marching into his kitchen, I take a punt on where I’ll find everything I need and drag open the cupboard beneath the sink.

“Bingo,” I whisper, pulling the bucket of cleaning supplies out.

Despite being confident they have a cleaner—I mean, no one has lived here since before Alex went to Vegas and it’s still spotless—I set to work, burning off my need to go and set the remains of that church on fire all over again myself with every scrub of the kitchen counter and swipe on a window.

I scrub with such ferocity that I quickly work up a sweat, but I don’t slow down. I need this.

As I work, anger bubbles up within me as I repeat what Alex described from inside that church. Hatred like I’ve never known surges through my veins, quickly poisoning me from inside out. My movements become erratic as tears burn red hot, making my nose tingle and a sob threaten to break free.

When I can no longer see through the tears flooding my eyes, I spin around, crashing back against the wall. The cloth in my hand drops to the floor as I drop my head into my hands, allowing my emotions to erupt.

My knees buckle with the weight of the last couple of weeks and I drop, landing like a lead weight on my arse. But I don’t feel it. I don’t feel anything but the soul-deep ache of knowing that people I love have suffered, are suffering, and that there’s nothing I can do about it.

And that’s exactly where Alex finds me sometime later.

“Evie,” he cries, rushing to my side, dropping to his knees and pulling me into his arms.“Baby, I’m here. It’s okay. Everything is okay.” His voice is rough from sleep and cracked with emotions.

“I-I know. I’m s-s-sorry.”

“Hey, shush now. It’s okay,” he whispers into my hair, clutching me as tight as he can to hold me together.

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