Page 75 of Mr. Scandalous

“Okay,” he said, tamping down his guilt. “Go ahead. If you’d like to get something off your chest, I’m listening.”

She hesitated. “Nah, you’re right. What’s the point?”

Alec reached across the seat and squeezed her hand. Just touching her sent a jolt of pleasure, mingled with sadness, zinging through his veins. “Come on, I want to hear this.”

Silence.

“What do you have to tell me?” He prayed that she wasn’t going to confess that she’d fallen in love with him.

“You’re the first lover I’ve had since the...er, the...”

“Since you got burned?”

God, what was the matter with him? Why was he going all gooey and marshmallowy inside? He wasn’t a sensitive, touchy-feely kind of guy.

“Yes. I haven’t made love to anyone since the fire and only one man before that. I feel guilty because I led you to believe that I was this sexually liberated woman who can handle casual sex, when nothing could be further from the truth.”

Uh-oh! What was she saying?

“If you hadn’t given me the worry stone I don’t think I would have been able to go through with this. But when you sent me the stone, it was as if you could read my mind. As if you knew exactly what I needed to gather my courage.”

“Sweetheart,” he said, struggling to sound laid-back and belying the anxiety gripping him. “I was in the bed with you, believe me, youareone red-hot woman. Worry stone or not.”

“But it’s all pretend. I read books and talked to my friend Jayne. I watched instructional videos and practiced on fruit.”

“Practiced on fruit?” He chuckled more to break the tension than anything else. Fact was, he found it pretty endearing that she’d gone to such efforts to learn how to please him.

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not laughing at you, honest.”

“I’m trying to confess to you.”

“I’m listening.”

“You’re grinning.”

“I can listen and grin at the same time.”

“I’m not a love-’em-and-leave-’em sort of gal. I’m not into the freewheeling bachelorette lifestyle. I want to get married someday. I want to have kids. I’m not like you, Alec. If I look into the future and see myself forever single, I feel lonely, not emancipated.”

“So you lied to me?” He zipped around a slow- moving tractor-trailer rig. He was driving too fast, and he knew it, but this sensation of claustrophobia had him feeling that if he dared slow down he’d get trapped in Connecticut forever.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t he, at least not intentionally. You assumed I was a wild woman because of my profession, and I let you think it. The way you looked at me made me feel wild and I liked it. And I wanted a casual fling. I wanted to sow my oats. All I’m trying to say is thank you for being the one I sowed them with. That’s all.”

“That’s it?”

He felt strangely used. She’d gotten what she wanted and now she was tossing him aside.

But this was a good thing, right? He’d been worrying that she might be falling in love with him. He should be relieved, not miffed at her deception.

“Thank you, Alec. Thank you for giving me back my belief in myself that I lost after the fire.”

“You’re welcome,” he said hoarsely because he did not know what else to say.

* * *

Alec left heron the sidewalk outside Wickedly Wonderful without a backward glance. He had broken every speed limit getting her back to Manhattan. It felt as if he couldn’t dump her fast enough.