‘Previous loves’ implying I didn’t love Seb anymore.
Which would never happen.
So then it begins.
That small, creeping voice.
Do I tell this perfect guy about Seb? About my first love? About my forever obsession? Or do I just keep my mouth shut and tell myself anything I feel for Seb is deeply rooted in that pre-teen crush kind of thing?
Now this is the part where Seb is right.
He’s best friends with Andy.
I’m going to see him.
Sure, we made it ten years without seeing each other, but that’s only because he and Andy were off making hockey careers for themselves.
Someday they’d retire. Or maybe they’d end up on the same team together.
No matter what, the chances of Seb crashing my life - and my love - are really high.
Meaning every day I live with this warning in my head.
Like a color-coded chart, warning me.
Every day is red.
And this ninety-nine percent perfect guy is just doing his thing.
Surprising me with flowers. Making dinner plans. Always wanting to touch me, hold me, and love me. He will start making dinner and then end up going down on me in the kitchen, burning dinner, so we order pizza and cuddle up on the couch and life is so amazing for that.
Except…
Then I see Seb.
Just one time seeing him.
I pulled my hand from Seb’s.
“What’s wrong, babe?”
“I hate you now.”
“You can never hate me.”
“I hate that you’re right about it,” I said.
“Want to know something I told your brother?”
“Sure.”
“I told him there was a reason I never had a serious relationship.”
“Meaning?”
“What do you think that means?”
“I don’t know.”