Page 39 of Kings & Chaos

I glanced at the gun on his nightstand as I lowered myself carefully to the edge of the mattress.

Of course he’d been awake. Awake and ready, as always.

The thought didn’t annoy me like it once would have. Instead, I just felt sad.

Our eyes met through the darkness, and I tried to think of the best way to tell him what I’d seen. In the end, it seemed best to keep it simple.

“I remember.”

He froze, then propped himself up on the headboard. “What do you remember?”

“I remember you… in the closet. Your dad was mad when I unlocked the door.”

“What else?” Neo asked.

Listen, you little cunt…

“Rock and Oscar were there. Your dad… grabbed me. Told me to mind my own business. You and Rock and Oscar, you tried to make him stop, but your dad… hit you. He was going to hit Rock too, but my dad came.”

“You tried to help me.” The words sounded like they were being pulled from his mouth, like they were hard to say.

I thought about my dad leading me away from Neo, still on the floor in the closet, and swallowed the emotion that rose like a lump in my throat. “Did he… did he do that a lot? Lock you up?”

“Among other things,” Neo said bitterly.

“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. My head was spinning, trying to make sense of what had happened when we were kids, how it had affected the dynamic between the Kings and me even though I hadn’t remembered it until now.

They were always watching you, especially Neo.

Maybe Mara was right.

“It doesn’t matter,” Neo said, his voice back to normal. “The important thing is that now you understand.”

“Understand?”

“You can trust us to protect you,” he said.

It wasn’t quite as clear as he made it sound. How did a minutes-long encounter as kids translate to a lifelong bond? I didn’t understand, but I had to admit that our relationship — my relationship with all the Kings — was suddenly different.

“You don’t owe me anything,” I said.

“I do,” he said. “We do. But it’s not about that.”

“What’s it about then?” I asked.

“You’re one of us, Jezebel.” He didn’t sound happy about it. “We’re in this together. We always have been.”

“Then why do you hate me?” The question was out of my mouth before I could analyze how pathetic it sounded.

He took so long to answer I would have thought he was asleep if not for the fire in his eyes. “I don’t hate you. But it’s better if you stay away from me.”

“Why?” I didn’t know why I was fighting him on the issue. It’s not like I wanted to be close to Neo fucking Alinari.

Right?Right?

“It just is.” He laid back down and turned away from me, his broad shoulders another wall between us. “Now go back to your room, Jezebel.”

It felt wrong to leave after what I’d found out, wrong not to say more about it. But he’d made it clear the conversation was over, and a minute later I got up and let myself out of his room, closing the door on my way out.

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