Page 27 of Kings & Chaos

“Have you found some people to hang with?” I asked. Before the fire at the cabin, she’d told me she was having trouble adjusting to life at Columbia, that she hadn’t found her people there.

“Not really,” she said. “Well, there is this one girl from Calculus class that I’ve been talking to, but we haven’t hung out or anything. I’m thinking of transferring actually. Columbia isn’t what I expected.”

“Really?” I knew things weren’t good for her there, but she’d wanted to go to Columbia forever. “Like, now? Or at the end of the year?”

“I’m not sure,” she said. “It’s just something I’ve started thinking about.”

“Any thoughts on where you might go?” I asked.

She hesitated. “I was thinking Aventine actually. We could go to college together like we always planned, just not at Columbia.”

“Oh, no… You can’t come here,” I said without thinking.

She looked like she’d been slapped. “You don’t want me there?”

“It’s not that,” I said quickly. “I always want you with me. But Mara… it’s not safe here. One of the Bellepoint girls is dead, and Emma isn’t the only one who’s gone missing over the years.”

“Yeah, but whoever this psycho is, they’re targeting the Bellepoint girls,” she said. “Not anyone at Aventine. I’m sure I’d be fine.”

She knew about the note that had lured me to the fire at the cabin, but I hadn’t told her about the package with my earring and the picture with my eyes scraped out. I hadn’t wanted her to worry more than she already did.

“Maybe take some time with the decision?” I suggested. “Things are a mess here. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

She chewed the inside of her cheek, something she always did when her feelings were hurt. “If you don’t want to go to the same school, you can just say so, you know.”

“I’d love to go to the same school like we’d planned,” I said. “Honestly. I just… I’m not even sure I could keep myself safe without the Kings.” Whew. That fucking hurt to admit. “I’d worry sick about you if you were here.”

“You don’t have to worry about me,” she said. “I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”

A year earlier, I would have thought Mara was the tough one. She’d never cared what anyone thought of her, never thought twice about saying what was on her mind or breaking rules.

Now I tried to picture her holding a gun at the firing range, running through the woods while someone chased her, someone who wanted to kill her, and I couldn’t.

"I know that,” I said. “But you’re my best friend in the whole world. I don’t know what I’d do without you and I don’t ever want to find out.”

Her expression softened a little. “Maybe I could come for a visit. I think I just miss you a lot.”

“Sure!” I said brightly, even though a weekend visit from Mara didn’t make me feel any better about her safety. I didn’t want her within a mile of Aventine for even an hour, but a potential weekend visit was a problem for another time. “I miss you too. Tons.”

We talked for a few more minutes — Mara’s family always spent Thanksgiving in Florida with her grandparents so we wouldn’t see each other when I was home — before signing off.

I threw my phone on the sofa with a sigh and laid back, staring at the ceiling.

Fuck. When had life gotten so complicated?

I tried to trace its unraveling. Was it when my parents had started fighting? When my dad had gone missing and been reported as a witness for the Feds? When Emma had disappeared?

I felt like I’d been swimming against the current for too long. I was tired. I just needed to catch my breath.

I thought about what Mara had said about the Kings watching me — about Neo being obsessed — trying to remember a time when that had been true. I couldn’t. Sure, there were times when our gazes had met. That wasn’t exactly unusual when you were thrown together in big groups all the time.

But it had never in a million years occurred to me that Neo — or any of the Kings — were interested in me. Was Mara’s overactive imagination working extra hard? Or was she right? Had I been too quick to compare myself to Emma? To assume everyone saw her — and me — the way I did?

And if I’d been wrong about that, if I’d missed that, what else had I missed?

My phone dinged with a text and I hurried to reach for it. Mara had been hurt when I hadn’t been excited by the possibility of her coming to Aventine. It was for her own good, but she was clearly in a vulnerable state.

I needed to make it right.

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