Page 6 of The Rain of Love

My heart pounds fast and loud as his loving acts send my thoughts into fantasy. "C-can we stay like this?" I ask without thinking about any consequences. I want to stay in the moment where my heart tells me that I'm slowly falling in love.

Gabriel rolls to my side and pulls me in his arms. “We can stay like this all you want,” he ends his answer with a sweet kiss.

I place my palm on his chest to feel his heartbeat. The sound his chest makes mirrors what mine does, convincing me that it's not one-sided for me. My fear about what my father will do to Gabriel tries to resurface in my head, but my overwhelming happiness keeps it buried. It's as if my heart knows everything will be fine. I feel safe with Gabriel, and I will also keep him safe.

“Did it hurt much?” Gabriel asks while caressing the spot he spanked. He looks worried after seeing the bruise.

I forgot about the pain because of the pleasure. But now that he reminded me, I could feel some slight sting. Still, I answer by shaking my head. He rises from the bed to kiss the spot; I giggle as his lips touch my skin. He laughs softly and kisses me.

“What?” Gabriel asks when I look at him for a while.

I clench my teeth while contemplating whether to ask something from him. He caresses my cheeks and raises his eyebrows, giving me a sign to ask. I avoid his eyes as I ask, “Are you… that kind of person? Uhm…the BDSM type of guy?”

Worry appears in Gabriel's eyes. I was a curious virgin, so I found ways to satisfy my curiosity. Some videos I came across had BDSM elements. Gabriel's spanking isn't at the level of what I watched, but he showed dominance like those whipping masters in the videos. His eyebrows crook a little – as if he's considering answering with a lie.

"One truth," he suddenly turns our moment into a truth game. I smile at him to agree. He grins and nods his head. Despite trying not to be shocked, my mouth still parts in disbelief. "I understand if you don't like it. We can remain…" he frowns a little before adding, "vanilla."

“H-how did you get into it?” I still sound shocked by his confession.

Gabriel tries to hide his frown, but I can see his disappointment. “It started when I was eighteen.”

Gabriel's past shocks me more. He got into trouble after graduating high school. He broke into a house and got caught by the owners. The couple had some weird fetish and forced him to do BDSM stuff with them. The act disgusted him, but after some time, he learned to enjoy it.

"I never got out of it," Gabriel tells me. "But I will not make it a problem between us, Sasha. We can go…"

"How can you enjoy their abuse? Gabriel, that couple took advantage of you," My body heats up with anger while imagining what the couple did to Gabriel. "They should have been punished. I…"

“It disgusts you, doesn’t it?”

I choke on my thoughts. "No," I quickly respond. "I'm just angry hearing about what you went through. No eighteen-year-old should go through that. Be enslaved or imprisoned."

Gabriel was too young. He should have been enjoying the early years of his young adult life. Everyone would want freedom at that age, but he wasn't. The wicked couple enslaved him. A few years later, he was imprisoned for being in trouble with his gang. He must have suffered all those years. I can't say I understand it well, but we probably shared the same desire to be free.

He's not that free until now since he's only on parole. Also, he escaped the wicked couple, but the Mallows’ may not be sexually abusing him, but they are using him as their errand boy.

“I know it’s frustrating that I loved it instead of abandoning it,” Gabriel softly smiles. “But it is what I became, Sasha. I don’t know how long, but if you ask me to change, I will.”

Something explodes in my heart, killing it for a moment before reviving it like a crazy horse. Did Gabriel declare to change for me? I look at him and see the desperation in his eyes. Uncle Vigo's words cross my mind again. Is Gabriel the man I need? The man who'll fight for me? Can I take a risk with him? Won't it be unfair to him to love me despite the danger I can bring? With Dmitri Fador entering my life, loving me can become my lover's death.

“You can’t stay with me, can you?”

What Gabriel and I have is uncertain. I'm unsure if this is love, but it's a blossoming romance. Call it a selfish act, but I want to explore all the uncertainties with him, even if it'll be temporary. I will have no choice but to choose Dmitri Fador once my father surrenders to the Bratva's request. I will be Dmitri's wife to let Gabriel and Papa live. Until then…

I smile at Gabriel and shake my head. I’ll enjoy every moment with him, explore everything he likes, and give him my heart before leaving him.

"My one truth," Gabriel looks at me with crooked eyebrows as he waits for my reply. I straighten his eyebrows and calm his forehead before adding, "I'm also curious about it."

Of all the porn videos I watched, I had some strange attraction to the BDSM ones. I wondered why those women liked being humiliated and degraded, but something about it excites me. Maybe it's because of my desire to get out of the world Papa built for me that I desire the opposite. I'm tired of living like a fragile and precious princess that no one can hurt. I want to be like those women who can handle the pain and don't easily break.

"I want to try it." Gabriel's eyes sparkled with joy after my declaration.

“A-are you sure?”

“I want to try, but…”

"I'm fine with it, baby. We can take it slow," the excitement in Gabriel's voice spreads to me. He sounds like a little boy who finally got what he wanted. His cheeky smile becomes more adorable and brings thrills to me. "Everything will become better."

"How much better?" I ask while shooting him a playful look.

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