Page 53 of Touched By Sin
“ANSWER THE QUESTION!”
“Yes,” I whisper, and he drops me like he’s been burned, then stumbles back.
Without another word, he strides off, my eyes following his retreat. Guilt gnaws at my insides, turning my stomach and twisting my organs. Why did I act so fucking foolishly? What did I think would happen? Did I want revenge so fucking badly?
My arm is grabbed. Ronan drags me along without a backward glance.
“Don’t be too hard on her.” Dariana hurries to keep up. “She doesn’t know the rules of this world yet. Fuck, she hasn’t even experienced anger or jealousy before you brought her here. She acted out of spite. So what? Don’t tell me you’ve never done the same?”
“Shut the fuck up, Dari,” Alaric says tersely.
The moment we step outside, Ronan bands his arm around my waist and we set off flying toward their house. I could tell him I know how to fly. But I don’t. I’m numb, focused on the steady heartbeat in his chest. I long for easier times when all I felt was a peaceful calm. Not this brewing storm of emotions. These highs and lows.
We soon land, and they lead me indoors, past the living room and up the creaky stairs. No one speaks. After locking me in my bedroom, they leave, and I sink down onto the bed. The ache inside my chest spreads, pressing against my sternum. How long will they keep me in here this time?
My feet carry me over to the window. I unlock the hatch, sliding the glass panel up. It’s a mild evening, warmer than usual. The night air is alive with the sound of crickets in the tall grass and animals in the woods.
I look back at the door. It’s still locked. They’re not coming back anytime soon. Climbing out on the thin ledge, I heave myself up on the roof, my wings flapping behind me when I feel like I might fall. I don’t.
The wind moves my hair around my face as I straighten up and turn in a slow circle, scanning the trees that surround the house. If I want to see my home again, I’ll need to fly.
I gaze up at the thick clouds, contemplating my options. Can I actually do it? Dariana distracted me last time, but now it’s different—it’s just me. There’s no one here to distract me with soft touches and soothing words of encouragement.
“I can do it,” I tell myself, slowly unfolding my wings. They’re heavy, stretching out behind me, but I’m slowly growing used to them. My shoulders don’t ache as much. I try to flap them like a bird, but nothing happens. Discouraged, I flop down, my wings drooping behind me. What will it take for me to learn how to do such a basic task?
My gaze snags on the trees to my left. When I was young, I fell from one and that’s how I learned to fly. I shoot to my feet, smoothing my hands down my dress while building up my courage. It’s time to fly or fall. After inhaling a steadying breath, I run for the edge, leap off, and for one brief moment, panic overtakes me as I feel myself falling. But then my wings erupt from my back, carrying me higher and higher.
I stare down at the house below. “I’m doing it. I’m flying.”
The wind feels fantastic in my feathers and hair. Cool and refreshing, like a cold shower in a heatwave. I fly in a circle before directing my gaze toward the distance, where the sunbeam lights up my old home like a floodlight. A pang of homesickness makes itself known inside my chest, but something stops me from escaping. There’s a strange tug on my heartstrings. If I had a pair of scissors, I would slice right through them and free myself from the men below.
With that thought in mind, I soar off into the night, ignoring the pull to fly back. I don’t belong to anyone. No one owns me, and no one gets to control me.
I fly for hours until my wings burn with exhaustion and my limbs ache. Still, I carry on. When my feet finally slide into the tall grass outside the gates, I collapse to the ground, weeping with relief.
The golden gates shimmer, tall and opposing, as I slowly rise to my feet. I step forward, my soles sinking into the soft grass. The sound of crickets falls silent at my approach. In fact,everythingfalls silent, as if the world itself is holding its breath. I’m right in front of the gates, gazing up.
“Hi,” I whisper as a tear trails down my cheek. I feel different now that I’m here, and I know even before I place my hand on the door that it won’t open. The sense of peace and non-judgment I experienced behind those gates is a far cry from the emotions swirling inside me now. But I try anyway as I place my trembling hand on the gate with bated breath. The absolute silence leans in too, waiting.
“Please,” I whimper, pressing my forehead against the gate. “Let me in.”
When nothing happens, I release a sob. “I want to go home.”
Nothing.
Not a bird singing in the trees. Not a cricket chirping in the grass. I taste tears on my lips as I continue crying silently. Then something else happens: anger rises inside me thick and fast. Anger at the fucking unfairness of it all. Curiosity is what led me out here in the first place. The gatesletme out. It’s not my fucking fault the wolf steered me off the path to Grandma’s cottage.
“Let me in,” I cry, banging on the shimmering gate. “Let me the fuck in! You can’t let me out if you’re not going to let me back in. Fuck you! It’s not my fault those boys stole me away and introduced me to sin.” I kick it too, for good measure, before collapsing to the ground in a heap of pathetic tears. I can’t stop crying. I just want to go home. I never asked for any of this.
My head snaps up and I grit my jaw. I will find a fucking way in—somehow. Ignoring the pain in my shoulders, I let my wings erupt to their full glory. This time, I don’t doubt myself. I let them carry me higher and higher until I’m flying above the walls, staring down at my home. Everything is so light and colorful. The deer munches on the grass. The hare is there too, just the way I remember it. If I squint, I can make out the houses in the distance. Freya is in there somewhere. I’ve missed her so much.
As I fly closer, I hit an invisible wall. Surprised, I flatten my palm over it and slide it over the barrier. Was it always there?
“Please, no,” I whisper as my hand slams down. The wall doesn’t budge. There’s no way in other than through the gates. I don’t know how long I fly, watching the deer munch and the rabbit hop, before I let my wings carry me down to the soft grass.
Aurelia…
Ronan was right that time in class. The woods call my name. Even now, as I stare blankly at nothing, it whispers, urging me to disappear into its shadows.
