Page 90 of Begin Again, Part 2

"Mommy. Eat," Aiden said, interrupting his gloomy thoughts.

Eden took him downstairs, where she quickly put together some scrambled eggs and warmed up Dave's leftover veggies. They headed back to the nursery and sat in the rocking chair while she fed him.

As Liam watched the peaceful moment between mother and son, he was filled with a love so intense he thought his heart would give out on him any second now. They looked so beautiful and happy, blissfully unaware of his gaze on them.

He reluctantly pried himself away from his family when his phone buzzed in his pocket, a look of regret and sorrow in his eyes, as he wondered how many such moments he'd missed out on.

He pulled out his phone and rejected the call when he saw the caller ID. He figured James had filled his father in on the Ivanov threat, and he wanted to rebuke him for his recklessness.

Liam headed downstairs to check on the food. The smell of chicken soup wafting through the room hit him as soon as he descended the stairs. His stomach growled loudly, reminding him he was hungry as fuck; the last time he ate was around lunchtime.

He set the table, lit some candles, and played soft background music, hoping his last night with Eden could still be salvaged somehow.

When they finally sat down for their supper half an hour later, Liam realised Eden wasn't lying when she said she couldn't cook. He couldn't understand how she managed to ruin his chicken soup. It was too watery, too salty, and the meat, too mushy. But he gobbled it up with a lot of enthusiasm.

"How is it?" she asked, their anger temporarily on hold while they filled their stomachs and prepared for a possible round two of their Battle Royale.

Liam stared glumly at his half-full bowl, thinking of the best way to tell her it was shit. But when he looked up and found her looking at him with those wondrous eyes, he didn't have the heart to crush her spirit.

"It's great," he lied. "I love it."

That was his biggest mistake. Eden was only too happy to dish more of the soup. "Eat, have some more."

"Okay." Liam croaked as he forced himself to swallow it down. They slipped into silence for a while as they watched Aiden play with the PAW Patrol plushie they'd brought from Forrest Creek, and Liam's anger sparked to life again when he thought about how many such simple evenings he'd missed out on.

Sure, he knew nothing about fatherhood, and he'd probably fail at it, but he would have loved to be given a choice. Eden had robbed him of that choice.

"Did you not have any faith in me as a father?" he asked, pushing his bowl away.

Her eyes now firmly on the soup she'd barely touched, Eden whispered, "that's not true."

"Why else would you choose to raise Aiden alone when I'm alive and well and capable of providing for you?"

"I told you—" she groaned in her hands, exhaling in frustration. "I thought you were married. I thought—"

"Even if that was the case, did you not think I deserved to know?" Liam banged his fists on the table, startling their son. "Did you not think I'd give up everything for you and Aiden?"

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you!" Eden yelled right back at him and shoved her bowl aside. "I didn't want you to give up anything. I didn't want to mess up your life."

"You are my life." Liam shook his head, tears clouding his eyes. "There's nothing I wouldn't have done to be with you and our son. God, Eden, you are my heart, my hell, paradise. You are my home."

"I'm sorry."

"I missed out on your entire pregnancy. I wasn't there to massage your back, soothe your feet when they ached, or hold your hair back while you puked from morning sickness. Did you even have morning sickness? I never had a chance to feel Aiden's first kick in your tummy. I didn't go with you on your first scan and follow up visits. Why would you take that away from me?"

"I didn't know you'd want any of it."

They were both in tears now, but neither wanted to back away and give in, and Liam still hadn't said his piece. Every time he thought he was done, he would think of something else, and the now-familiar feelings of regret and heartache would crush him like a tsunami.

"Two years of his memories," he said sadly, looking at his son. "And I'm not even in one of them? Did you tell him about me?"

"He knows your scent," she blurted out.

Liam raised a questioning eyebrow and poured himself a glass of wine. The ruined chicken soup wasn't doing much to numb his shredded heart.

"I kept your shirt," she explained, her voice shaky with tears. "I never washed it because I wanted Aiden to know your scent. I wanted him to at least have something of yours."

"You make it sound like I died," he scoffed. "I was alive and well. And I was here, going crazy out of mind from needing you. And you were what, hiding in the Blue Mountains, raising my child like he doesn't have a father? What the fuck went through your head?"

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