She lay there for some time, unable to close her eyes because as soon as she did, Liam's first moments with Aiden and his despair and rage would jolt her awake. Convinced the image, now permanently scorched in her mind, would drive her mad, she kicked off the covers and dashed to her bedroom.
She came back with her painting supplies and lined them up in front of the window overlooking her weedy backyard.
Her breath shaky, her heart shredded to pieces, Eden sat in front of the easel, and for the first time in two years, she picked up her paintbrush and poured all her heartache on the canvas.
By the time the sun crept up in the sky, she was still lost in her little world, oblivious to her friends and her son watching in awe as her hands worked feverishly to eternalise the moment her choices culminated in Liam's grief.
Chapter
Twenty
GRACE AND HUMILITY
"What the hell happened to you?" Linda couldn't hide her horror when Liam strolled into her office. The bewildered look on her face and her unusually shrill tone were first for him. She was always apathetic to a point he had begun to believe she was an android masquerading as a human. He was secretly pleased to see his therapist was a mere mortal like him, and her cold mask of indifference slipped off once in a while.
"I need a drink," he said as he crossed the room and paused in front of the window, gazing unseeingly at the fine rain droplets sliding down the pane. It hailed soon after he left Eden's place, but the torrential storm had lost its steam, fizzling out into a drizzle, pretty much like his feelings. Fighting with Eden always left him drained.
"Linda, where's my fucking drink?" he asked without turning from the window.
"This isn't a pub, Liam!" she snapped, but rummaged through her cabinets anyway, returning with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses.
She handed him his drink and tilted hers in his direction in a silent toast.
Liam knocked back his whiskey, his eyes watering slightly when the oaky bitterness scalded his throat. Linda's cheap booze hit him hard, and the room spun in front of him. But he held out his hand for more. He'd take a spinning room over the heavy rock in his heart any day.
Linda hesitated, shaking her head in refusal, but something in his eyes made her think twice. She topped him up, albeit begrudgingly, and carried on nursing her glass.
Liam gulped down his second shot quickly, and when he asked for a third, the therapist firmly put her foot down and pulled out her notebook, motioning for him to sit. "Let's begin."
He dutifully slumped on the sofa, and they spent the first eight minutes in silence. He wasn't in a rush to talk, so he sat there and tried to compartmentalise his feelings. Linda was happy to keep him company as she quietly scribbled notes in her brand-new journal. Two years of venting about Eden had finally led to a new notebook. He wondered how long it would take to fill this one up as he stared at the pattern on the ceiling. For some reason, it annoyed the shit out of him today. But then again, what didn't?
Everything pissed him off today, and the reason for his discontent—his hell, his paradise—was probably still in her living room, bawling her eyes out. The thought sobered him up instantly. He massaged his chest and stared longingly at Linda's drink. One more shot would soothe the ache in his heart for sure. But she fixed him in his seat with her hawk-like gaze when he tried to reach for the bottle on the coffee table.
"He's mine," Liam announced, releasing the ragged breath he'd been holding since he read James' report.
"Aiden's mine," he repeated for no reason other than to fill the silence. "I'm that idiot who didn't take care of his kid."
Linda didn't look surprised as she nodded.
"You knew?" he asked.
Another slow nod from her as she laced her hands on her lap.
"When?"
"The last time she was here, when she showed me her bracelet with the charms, it was the way she looked at you when I asked about the missing sun charm."
"I'm confused. What does the bracelet have to do with anything?" Liam frowned.
"Well, she's the star, Aiden's the moon, so that makes you the sun," Linda explained patiently in her slow, measured voice. "The three of you share the same sky, but you can never appear together at the same time. Eden must have felt you were so out of reach from her and Aiden, the same way the sun is so out of reach from the moon and the stars. I could be wrong, though."
"And you didn't think to tell me this?" Liam demanded, his anger surging to life again. He reached for the whiskey and poured himself a shot, ignoring her disapproving look.
"You shouldn't drink so much—" Linda tried to say, but he switched her off.
"My liver is not your concern," he said. "Now, why am I the only one who didn't know about my son?"
"You knew," Linda replied. "Deny it all you want. Be outraged all you want. But you knew."