Page 44 of Begin Again, Part 2

Liam saw his lips move, but he couldn't hear him. He couldn't hear anything except the loud pounding of his heart in his chest as it tried to keep up with the million questions racing in his head.

"I can't breathe!" he growled as the walls of his chest caved in, squeezing all the air from his lungs. "I need to breathe. Why can't I fucking breathe?"

"Easy there, Mr Anderson! Slow breaths, nice and easy," James' voice sounded like he was underwater as he coached him through his panic.

"I'm okay," Liam whispered. But he wasn't okay. He blindly scrambled out of his office, his stomach keeping it together long enough for him to make it to his private bathroom. He spent a long time in there, doubled over the pan, spilling his guts out. He stayed on the floor for some time when he was done, his face drenched in sweat and tears, his mind racing with endless questions, his heart aching beyond anything he had ever felt.

How did he even begin to atone for the atrocious things he'd ever said, done, and put Eden through? Sure, he'd toyed with the possibility a million times. There were moments when he'd felt it deep in his gut too. But the truth, as he now understood, was remarkably different from a gut feeling. The truth was far scarier than a possibility, because it was permanent and fixed. And as he sat there on the cold floor, clutching his aching heart, Liam realised no matter how big the possibility and how strong his gut feeling was, nothing could have prepared him for the truth because it meant confronting Eden's intricate deception, and his horrid actions towards her when she first came back.

In the cold silence of his bathroom, in that moment of stunned shock and disbelief, every insult, every harsh word, every jibe he ever took at Eden came back to haunt him.

"Oh, Christ!" Liam grunted as he bent over the pan again and puked some more. Finally, his stomach empty, his heart heavy, he rose to his feet, flushed the toilet, and rinsed his mouth.

"You've got this!" he told his reflection in the mirror as he splashed water on his face. "You'll be fine."

James was pacing the length of the room when Liam returned to his office. Relief and something Liam could only read as pity flooded the other man's face when he saw him.

"Mr Anderson, are you okay?"

Liam brushed him off and stalked his way to the bar. Clara's espresso wasn't going to cut it anymore. He needed something stronger.

"Can I pour you a shot?" He turned slightly from the bar to look at James.

He shook his head and pointed at his wristwatch. He was still on the clock and didn't like to drink on the job.

"More for me, I guess," Liam said, deciding to forego the glass and drink straight from the bottle. He took it back to his seat and pulled out the photos from the envelope. He thought his heart would give out on him as he stared at his son, laughing sadly. Looking at Aiden was like staring at his own baby photos when he was that age.

"He's adorable, sir," James said, breaking through his thoughts.

"Like his mom," Liam smiled and turned to gaze forlornly at the view beyond the window. Everything looked the same, but a lot had changed. Things that mattered a few minutes ago meant nothing to him now. He'd fathered a beautiful twenty-month-old son who looked like him with a woman, who, up until recently, had hated with passion—

"What should we do about Ms McBride?" James' voice pulled Liam away from the window. He swivelled around in his seat and gazed blankly at him.

"Will she need security detail?"

There was a lot she'd need, Liam thought. There was a lot she needed in the past two years, and he wasn't around to help her. No more, he vowed. Eden wouldn't have to go through any of it alone anymore. A sharp stab of sorrow pierced his heart, when he remembered something she once said to him in Linda's office.

"Where are her medical records?" he asked. "James, where are her medical records? She almost died giving birth to Aiden. I need to know what she went through. I need to know how bad it was in that delivery room."

"I don't think you should look into that." James shook his head. "You have a beautiful son, and you've found the missus."

"She almost died, James, giving birth to my son, and when she told me...When she told Linda...Do you know what I said to her?" Liam asked.

Again, James shook his head.

"I told her it's her own stupid fault she has a terrible taste in men," he whispered. "Who says that, James? What asshole says shit like that?"

His head of security crossed the room and poured himself a shot before he sat on the couch.

"She gave me so many hints along the way." Liam took a long swig from the bottle. "She tried to make me see the truth, but I was so hell-bent on hating her, I couldn't read between the lines."

"You couldn't have known." James tried to console him.

"No!" Liam growled. "I should have known. I should have figured it out from the start. When Eden came for her orientation, she told me she didn't regret the night she spent with me because I gave her a beautiful, precious gift. How could I not have figured it out? How did I not see she was talking about our son—"

His office phone rang, dispelling the tension in the room.

Liam knew Clara was calling to remind him about his 3:00 PM meeting. But he picked up anyway and assured her he hadn't forgotten about the pitch with Lydia Edwards' handlers.

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