Page 65 of Ascending

“When it happened…” She paused to try to make sure she could get it out right. “When I lost my family, I remember thinking as my plane landed that I’d never smile again. I’d never laugh. I’d never have another happy moment. I’d never allow myself to enjoy anything ever again because none of them would be able to enjoy another moment.”

“Elizabeth…” Palmer said softly.

“I miss them every second of every day.”

“I know.” Palmer’s hand, inside the thickest of gloves, met Elizabeth’s, and their fingers automatically entwined.

“After it happened, I focused only on the monarchy. It was about getting me into the best position possible to be a believable Queen; to be strong, and show the anti-monarchists that we were a good thing for this nation, while showing the traditionalists thatIwould be good for this nation. The only feelings I cared about were the citizens of St.Rais and Victoria’s. I blocked everything else out until I was alone in bed and no one could hear me.” Elizabeth felt tears well in her eyes but knew the air around them was so cold and dry that they would never escape. “Then, I met you, Palmer. I met you, and I smiled, and I laughed again, and I felt so guilty at first. I still do, if I’m being honest.”

“You have nothing to feel guilty about,” Palmer replied.

“I understand that logically, but it’s not entered my heart yet, and I’m not certain it ever will. It will likely dissipate, but it won’t disappear completely, and that, I’m afraid, has to be okay because it is the hand I’ve been dealt.”

“I’m glad I’ve made you laugh. And trust me, this is hard for me to say, but if I had to give up making you smile or laugh because it meant I had no reason to stick around St.Rais and interview you about what happened – I’d give them back to you in an instant, Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth turned to her and noticed Palmer was looking back at her. Her expression was as serious as it was genuine.

“We can’t turn back time, but we can find a way to make the most of what we have now.”

“Which is?” Palmer checked, her eyes searching Elizabeth’s face.

“This.” Elizabeth smiled warmly. “You and me, staring at the Northern Lights. I assume you know some of the stories of the lights? There are tour guides and pamphlets everywhere in St. Rais.”

“I heard some of the myths, yeah.”

“In Norse mythology, which is what we tend to follow in St.Rais, the aurora was a fire bridge to the sky built by the gods. Do you know thescience, though?”

“Not really, no. If my dad ever taught me, I tuned it out,” Palmer replied, turning back to the lights.

“The Sun is ninety million miles away from Earth, but its effects extend far beyond its visible surface. There are storms on our Sun that send charged solar particles across space in our direction. When the charged particles from the Sun hit atoms and molecules in our atmosphere, they excite those atoms, and they light up.” Elizabeth smiled as she took in Palmer’s expression as the other woman watched the lights. “When those charged particles strike atoms in the atmosphere, electrons move to higher-energy orbits, farther away from the nucleus of the atom. When an electron moves back to a lower-energy orbit, it releases a photon, or a particle of light. Different gases give off different colors when they are excited. Oxygen, for example, gives off the green color; like right there.” Elizabeth leaned over and pointed at a particular swirl of green with her free hand. “Nitrogen is blue or red in color.”

“Like there?” Palmer asked, pointing with her free hand.

“Yes,” Elizabeth replied, realizing that the reason they both had to point with theirfreehands was that their other hands were still entwined together under their shared blanket. “I suppose, this makes the aurora not as mysterious as it used to be, but even though I know the science behind the lights, I can still sometimes see a fire bridge built by the gods.”

Palmer turned toward her again and softly said, “That’s beautiful.”

“Yes, it is,” Elizabeth replied, looking into Palmer’s eyes.

???

“I’m glad you decided to stay,” Elizabeth told her.

“It’s after two in the morning. I could go back to the house, but–”

“No, it’s far too late,” Elizabeth interrupted her. “Besides, I have everything you could need here.”

“Clothes to sleep in?”

“Of course,” Elizabeth replied, nodding. “Are you ready for bednow?”

“Itislate,” Palmer said.

“Right. I should get some sleep as well.”

“What does your day look like tomorrow?” Palmer asked as she stood up from the sitting room sofa and stretched.

“Pretty busy. Victoria, David, and I are going to talk about their move to Coburn Cottage as well as the wedding over lunch. Other than that, my day is filled with tedium,” she replied.

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