Page 112 of Vicious Hearts

“For Saoirse.”

That’s not when he dies, though. Oh no.

I make him wait for that, until the next morning.

* * *

I stare at Una,something raw thudding in my head. Somethingwrongcrawling over my skin.

That was her first. Fucking. Time.

She can try and lie through her teeth about it all she wants, but it’s written all over her face as she yanks up the covers to hide her nakedness.

“Cillian—”

“That night at the club…” my eyes narrow. “That was your first time?”

Her eyes drop, her arms hugging herself. And I feel something I rarely,rarelyever feel.

Remorse.

Regret.

Because for all my darkness, and all my sadistic tendencies…I never would have touched her, least of alllike that, had I known.

My sister’s first time was also with a monster who wasn’t gentle.

And you went right ahead and continued the goddamn cycle.

I grit my teeth, my pulse pounding heavily in my ears as I try and swallow back the feeling of complete self-loathing that I never, ever feel.

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

I storm over to my closet, pulling on briefs and black jeans before I hear footsteps. When I turn back, Una’s standing in the doorway to the walk-in closet wrapped in the quilt, eyes locked with mine.

“Please…”

“That was yourfirst fucking time?!” I spit.

The pleading look on her face drops in the wake of my anger.

“Excuse me?”

“Was it, or wasn’t it?”

Her lips purse. “The fuck does it matter to you?”

“Because itdoes,” I snap.

She swallows, looking away. “Fine. Yes. It was. But so fucking what?”

“Christ.” I push past her, storming back into the bedroom.

“What? Would you of all people have been gentle or sweet about it?” she sneers, her voice laced with sarcasm.

“I wouldn’t have fucking touched youat all.”

“You do realize I’m able to make my own goddamn choices, right?!” she hurls at my back.

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