Page 148 of Vicious Hearts

“Says who?”

“Me,” I snarl. “Those men tonight? Besides being fucking serial raping, child abusing trash, they were also bomb makers. I was looking into what happened at the wedding reception.”

She shivers, pulling the blanket around her shoulders a little tighter.

“Some people deserve to be hurt, Una,” I murmur. “And yes, to die. There are monsters, and then there aremonsters. We all have a little of the first in us. Some,” I growl, “more than others. But the latter?” My teeth grind. “The latter haveno placein society.”

I take a slow breath, looking right at her.

“My father was the latter. A true remorseless monster.”

Why am I telling her this?

Not even Eilish and Neve know about this part of my past. Neither does Rose, Saoirse’s daughter that she was forced to leave with the nuns. Rose, who grew up shielded from the world and the Kildare family because I wanted her safe. She and I aren’t close, but we’ve reconnected now that she’s grown up and married. But even she doesn’t know the real, full story of her mother.

No oneneeds to know this story. And yet, it just starts to tumble from my mouth to Una. Like I feel compelled to open every dark corner of my past up to her.

Like I want her to knoweverything.

“My father was afiend.”

She stiffens. “You don’t have to—”

“He sexually abused my sister her entire teen years. She finally,finallygot out and ran off with some guy. But she was back nine months later, pregnant and alone, when the piece of shit abandoned her. My father made her give up the baby, and it was the last straw for her.”

My gaze drops.

“She slit her wrists in the bathtub. And when I got back from the hospital, where I’d taken her in the vain hope she could be saved, I found my mother, dead at my father’s hands.”

Una’s face goes white. She puts her mug down, and steps toward me to take my hand in hers.

“I’m…Cillian…I’m so fucking sorry.”

“We all die.” My gaze hardens. “But it wasn’t her turn yet. So, I made ithisturn. Slowly.”

Her hand drops from mine, the horror obvious on her face.

And just like that, once again, someone has looked too deep. Someone has peered too far into the darkness.

Gritting my teeth, I begin to walk away—to give her the space I’m sure she’s craving between her and the monster she’s truly seen now.

But I’m stopped when small, lithe arms wrap around my middle. When her tiny frame presses to me, and her soft lips kiss my back.

“I don’t think you’re a monster.”

“Then you haven’t been listening.”

“Do you feel things? Emotions?”

I’m quiet for a minute before I turn. Her arms stay close around me.

“I feel them differently than other people. When I hurt people. When Ikillthem”…my eyes gaze deeply into hers…“there’s no regret. I don’t feel what a human beingshouldfeel when they take a life, even a bad life.”

Una chews on her lip thoughtfully. “What about other emotions?”

“Like what?

“Like…” Her cheeks tinge with pink as her gaze drops. “Like what do you feel when you look at me?”

---