Page 170 of Broken Lines

I’ve been a ghost for ten years, and the world has moved on and gone on turning. When I left, yeah, I sent quick, brief notes to Will and Ash—the two closest things I had to brothers—telling them I’d be disappearing for a while.

That it wouldn’t be long.

That I’d be in touch at some point.

Obviously, things shook out much differently.

When I left, we all had demons we were fighting. All of us were still grieving Iggy in our own ways. Ash had just lost his father, Will was dealing with the shitstorm he’d kicked up by crossing Luca Carvelli, of all fucking people to cross.

I never meant to disappear forever. But a month turned into two, and then five, and then nine. And suddenly, a year had passed. Then another.

And then Will was dead.

Even a nowhere town like Cape Harbor heard about that. And when it hit my ears…I guess it was like the final nail for me. That was it, and out went any lies I’d been telling myself about ever coming back.

I should have reached out to Asher. But I never did. And the longer I went without sending the letter I’d re-written about a dozen times, the easier it got to pretend I was the only one left.

Alice smiles quietly. “You should.”

“Do you guys talk?”

She shakes her head. “Not for a long time. We met up once for a drink maybe two years after Will’s funeral, but that was it. He…” she shrugs. “He keeps to himself. Or so I hear.”

I swallow, looking down into my tea and watching the few bits of leaves swirl in the bottom of the cup.

“Look, Alice—”

“Jackson, you don't have to explain shit,” she shrugs with an easy smile. “Really. Look, did I miss you when you left?Yeah. I mean, yeah, Jack, we all missed you. Me, Will, Ash…”

She looks away, wiping her eye.

“We all missed you a lot, Jackson. Of course, we did.”

She exhales, taking a shaky sip of her tea.

“Do you know what we did on the one-year anniversary of you leaving?”

“Went through my search history and made fun of the porn I watched?”

She stifles a laugh.

“No, you asshole. We had a fucking funeral.”

My brows knit.

“Seriously?”

“I mean,yeah, Jackson. It’d been a year. Ayearwithout hearing from you. And let's be real…back then, you going amonthwithout a safety net was cause for concern. But a year?”

She looks away, wiping another tear from the corner of her eye.

“I don't think any of us really thought you'd survive a year, Jackson.”

“Well, I hope someone collected on that bet.”

She smiles wryly as I exhale.

“Alice, I was supposed to take care of you—”

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