Page 28 of Keeping Lucy

“Yay to that.”

I served the waffles, then asked her, “Coffee?”

“Yeah, that’d be great. Sorry I got here so early. Tom wanted to do some work and Xavier and I were in the way.”

“No problem. We can hang out here as long as you like.”

I made Elissa’s coffee first before sitting down with my own.

“Here you go, Auntie Lucy.”

“Thank you, Chloe.” I eyed the mess of waffle she’d made for me and felt my stomach turn. Might be best just to stick with coffee, I thought, picking up the mug and inhaling the rich, delicious scent. Fabulous. I took a sip, then scrunched up my nose. Ewww.

“What’s the matter?”

“Sorry, there must be something wrong with the pods. The coffee tastes funny.”

Elissa took a sip. “Mine tastes fine. Did you use a different pod for yours?”

“No, I’ve only got the one kind.” I smelled it again. “Weird. It smells okay but tastes gross. I’ll make another one, see how it goes.”

“Ha! That’s exactly what happened to me when I was pregnant. Loved the smell of coffee, couldn’t stand the taste. Such a ripoff.”

I froze, my hand hovering over the jar of coffee pods. Pregnant? No, that was impossible. We’d been careful the whole time. Giving myself a shake, I made a second cup and brought it back to the table. Aware that Elissa was watching me, I sniffed the brew before taking a sip. “Fu-fudge.”

“Here, let me try.” Elissa took the mug from me and tasted it. “There’s nothing wrong with it. It must be you. You’re not pregnant, are you?”

She was totally joking, but I felt the breath still in my lungs and heat prickle across my skin as my heart lurched.

“Luce?”

Feeling more than a little dazed, I said, “Hmm?”

“Everything okay?”

“Sure, why wouldn’t it be?”

“I dunno, but you had a really weird look on your face just now.”

“Just trying to figure out what might be wrong with the coffee.” I wasn’t sure she really believed me, but thankfully, she changed the subject to what she was thinking of getting our mom for Christmas. Which of course made me think of going shopping with Dante, which in turn made me think about the perfect sex we’d had where we’d always been perfectly careful.

Hadn’t we?

* * *

Iwas officially late, and I don’t mean for a fucking meeting. And I wasneverlate. Never, ever, ever. Except I was now. Fuck. Three days. All the math checked out. I was sitting in my living room, my fingers wrapped around a mug of tea, since coffee was ruined for me now, shaking all over as I thought about it. The urge to run straight to my mom was almost overwhelming, but I resisted it. Somehow, I still hadn’t said a word to anyone about running into Dante in Seattle. I wasn’t sure why not. Maybe it was because of our shared history, the scars that were left behind after the car accident. Maybe not for me so much, but definitely for Jake and Emma. Talking about Dante might open old wounds. At the very least, it would lead to a hell of a lot of questions. So here I was, freaking out that I might be pregnant and not having anyone to lean on for support.

The best thing to do, of course, would be to woman up and get a pregnancy test. Not right now, though. Right now I was just going to sit on my hands, and pretend my whole life wasn’t on the brink of imploding.

CHAPTER14

Lucy

Was the constant nausea because I was actually pregnant, or so anxious that I might be that I’d made myself sick?

I put it off as long as I could, but really, waiting wouldn’t change the answer. It was probably best to get it over with. I went to New Bern to get the test, since the last thing I needed was anyone I knew seeing me buying it. I’d pulled my head out of the sand just enough to accept the need for confirmation. I wasn’t ready for any more than that just yet.

Back at home, I peed on the stick, set it on the sink, washed my shaking hands, then sat on the edge of the bathtub, waiting. Maybe I should have called my mom. Or Elissa. Or the next-door fucking neighbor. Or anyone. OMG, doing this by myself had been the worst idea ever. I could feel the blind panic building in my head and I really needed someone to talk me down off the ledge—

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