What is it with the women in my life refusing to wear a jacket in this weather?
“Oh yeah?” I put down the wrench in my hand and turn to her with a raised brow. “'Bout what?”
“You know what.”
Leaning back against the car I've been working on, I shrug. “I don't, actually.”
“Her.”
It takes everything in me not to roll my eyes. India has been walking around with a face like a pissed-off fish since she stormed out of my sister's party the other night. It's always the same bullshit. Always the same accusations.
“You're still in love with Thea, aren't you?”
“Jesus, India, not this again.” I shake my head on an irritated sigh. “I’m not in the mood for this bullshit today.”
“Don't do that,” she snaps. “Don't gaslight me into believing there isn't a problem when there clearly fucking is.”
I hold my oil-coated hands in the air and she eyes them with disdain. “I don’t mean to gaslight you, or whatever the fuck that means. I just don’t want to talk about her.”
“Why, though? You never want to talk about it. You always just shut me down.”
“Because you’re always trying to make something out of nothing.”
“You’re doing it again!” she screeches in frustration, stomping her foot. “You haven't fucked me once since she came back into town, Cole, and you're trying to tell me there isn't a problem?”
This isn't the first time we've had this conversation. The night before last, India showed up on my doorstep in nothing but lingerie and a trench coat. Every other time she's done it, I've ended up fucking her against the wall with my hand over her mouth and my fist in her hair before she's barely had a chance to walk through the entryway.
That night, though, I didn't even look at her twice.
“We've been through this, babe. I'm just not feelin’ it at the moment.”
She's convinced that my sudden disinterest in sex is due to the unexpected presence of my ex-girlfriend. And while I can't pretend having Thea back hasn't thrown my world totally off its axis, I don't think it's the reason behind the sudden dip in my sex drive. Though, if it is, I'd never allow myself to admit it.
Her eye roll is instant and exaggerated. “You've never had an issue with feeling it before.”
Slowly, I cast my eyes over the woman I've called my girlfriend for the past six months, realizing with a painfully blinding clarity that I've been a total, unapologetic cunt to her for the majority of that time.
And sure, she has her faults. We all do. But she's always been good to me. And frankly, despite the headache she's given me almost every day of our relationship, she deserves better than the way I've treated her.
“Look, India, maybe we should—“
“Oh no, you don't,” she interrupts, storming toward me with a finger jabbed out in front of her. “You don't get to break up with me, Cole Mesaric. Not when I came here to do it to you first.”
I blink. “What?”
“Look, Cole.” She sighs. “We've had a good run, but it's clear you've got some kind of fucked-up baggage with your ex. I'm no one's second best, not even to a Hollywood fucking actress.”
“You've never been second—“ I begin, but she holds a hand up to silence me.
“Let me finish. And don't lie to me either. You've done too much of that recently. You know it as well as I do.”
Pausing, she regards me with a pointed look as she waits to see if I'll attempt to defend myself. I don't. She's right, and we both know it.
“I feel bad for you, Cole. Seriously, I do. You've messed up the best thing that's ever happened to you and you don't even realize it.” Her face twists with an ugly smugness as she looks at me like I'm as filthy to her as the oil staining my hands. “You're still in love with a girl you haven't seen since you were eighteen. You've never even slept with her. How pathetic is that? And she's not even thinking about you. I certainly wouldn't be if I was fucking the hottest guy in the world right now too.”
Something drops into my stomach. I don’t know what and I don’t understand why, but I suddenly feel completely breathless. “What?”
She tuts. “Aiden McCallister, remember? Didn't you see the gossip sites this morning? They've confirmed the dating rumors.”