Page 18 of Delicate Angel

It’s been a day since Lom and I arrived in Grozny. Amelia was tickled pink when I surprised her, and we made plans to have some much-needed girl time today. The men have been off doing whatever it is that they even do in the first place, and I haven’t seen much of Lom’s sister Eset. She works with them, so it wouldn’t be surprising to me if she’s off handling some things for their business.

Amelia and I are sitting in her living room, drinking some wine, and catching up. We haven’t dived into anything too deep as of yet, but there’s something I really need to tell Amelia. My stomach tightens up at the mere thought of bringing it up, and sweat trickles down my back.

Amelia has her hair tied up in a tight messy bun, and she’s wearing an oversized shirt with plain black leggings. We’ve not dressed up fancy or anything close to it, and that’s what I’ve always loved about my cousin. She’s never made me feel like I’m not enough. I just wish I could say the same about my parents. I was preached to the entire time growing up about how I needed to look presentable at all times because you never knew what kind of opportunities or doors would open for you. If my mother saw how laid back and “trashy” we looked right now, she’d probably have a stroke. We don’t even look trashy at all. We’re just two people who are relaxing and having a good time.

“Why are you getting quiet all of a sudden? It’s so weird.” Amelia throws her head back and laughs in an attempt to break the ice.

“It’s because I don’t know how to bring this up to you.” What I’m saying is very plain, but I’m terrified about what Amelia might think of me after I say all of this.

Amelia furrows her brows a bit, and after I don’t speak, she does. “You know you can tell me anything, right? We’re family, and I’d never judge you, be ashamed of you, be pissed, or whatever else you might be thinking about how I’d react in that head of yours.”

I swallow hard as Amelia’s words sink in. “Okay. Um, I’m going to come right out with it then. Your mother called me from jail and asked that I come to visit her. Or… she didn’t exactly ask. Shetoldme I needed to go see her, and it’s because she helped me with something many years ago.”

“So, she’s using your past against you.” Amelia comes straight out with it, and she’s not wrong in the least bit.

“It’s exactly what she’s doing.”

“Okay, so what could she possibly have on you?” Amelia pulls her legs under her from where she sits on the couch and glances over at Karim’s baby monitor for a split second. He just went down for a nap not too long ago.

I can’t believe I’m about to tell Amelia this, but here I go. “I had a baby when I was a teenager, and your mom helped me place her with a family for adoption. It was a private adoption, and now she’s using it against me, so I’ll put money in her commissary account. Otherwise, she’s going to tell my parents.”

Amelia’s mouth falls open from the shock of what I’ve told her. “I’m so sorry for this reaction. I just… I never thought you, of all people, would be… God, I’m going to put my foot in my mouth.”

“You’re probably thinking that I don’t fit the type of person who would give up their baby, given how I was raised and all, right?”

“Kinda, sorta, yeah,” Amelia admits, and I already knew it.

I grew up in rural Alabama and went to church three days a week. Of course, she’d think that way. “I knew I wasn’t prepared to take care of a baby, and I knew I wouldn’t have been able togo to college and make a name for myself. I knew that keeping my daughter would mean I’d be stuck in that small town for the rest of my life, and I couldn’t bear the thought of it. Not only that, but I couldn’t be selfish enough to keep her and give her a mediocre life. Not when someone else who was ready for a baby could give her so much more. After she was born, I thought about keeping her. It wasn’t long before I came to my senses, but I thought that I might be able to. It was nice to dream about a life where everything could’ve worked out, but she was better off with people who were prepared to care for a baby. Not with a teenage mother who didn’t even have a job.”

Amelia shakes her head and presses her lips together. “I can’t even imagine having to make that decision, especially after having a baby of my own now. I’m so sorry you had to go through that, and I’m so sorry you ever had to make the choices you did.”

“It’s all in the past, and I’m certain she’s had a better life because of it. In the end, she’s the only person that mattered in all of it.” Amelia grabs my hand and gives me a reassuring squeeze.

“Okay, so what are you going to do about what my mother said to you?”

“I think I need to put on my big girl britches and tell my parents before she does. I don’t see another option because I refuse to be blackmailed. I’m an adult now. I’m not a scared teenage girl, and I think she believes I still am one. I think that’s why she believes she can get me to put money into her account. It’s ridiculous,” I roll my eyes, and I know Amelia’s not even seeing a fraction of my disappointment or frustration. My aunt more or less ruined Amelia’s life. Why should I have ever been shocked that she’d stoop low enough to try and blackmail me? Especially when she’s already shown us her true character.

“What do you think they’re going to say about it?” Amelia cringes, and we both know exactly what my family’s going to say. They’re not going to say anything good, positive, or enlightening.

“I think they’re going to call me a whore, jezebel, or even a slut. They’re going to tell me I took away the right for them to know their granddaughter and that I should be ashamed of myself for going behind their backs and putting my aunt through this. I’m sure there will be more than that, but it’s a good idea of what I anticipate from them.”

Amelia nods like she understands, but she also knows how my parents are. “I’m going to bet you’re right on the money with all that. You were nervous to tell me, weren’t you?”

Since Amelia and I have become so close, it’s been very difficult to hide anything from her. We lived together and became accustomed to one another’s mannerisms, and I think we can read the other like a book now. “You have no idea how anxious I was to tell you.”

Amelia smiles and waves her hand in dismissal. “You had no reason to be. Fuck my mother for being such a bitch. You’ll tell your parents, and then she won’t have anything to hold over you. You know?”

“Exactly. That’s the plan, at least.” I smile, knowing once I speak to my parents, it’ll take the world’s biggest weight off my shoulders. I know it won’t be easy because nothing in life ever is, but I will be able to relax a bit more. That’s for sure. Then, after I tell them, my aunt won’t have anything else to hold over my head.

“It’ll be easier once it’s all said and done. I’m glad you’re here. I was so worried you wouldn’t be able to come. You had me sweating so much about it all!” Amelia laughs, then smacks my hand.

“Hey! How was I supposed to surprise you if you knew everything was going to be fine?”

“You gave me anxiety and made me sad! All I wanted was for you to be here.”

“And I’m here! So stop complaining. Are you excited about the wedding? It’s only two more days before you’re officially an Umarova.” I smile from ear to ear because I’m so excited for my cousin. She deserves a world full of happiness, especially after everything she’s been through.

“I know I’m not officially an Umarova, but I feel like I am. I’m, of course, over the moon for the big day to finally be here, but I’m stressing out about the little details too. I just want it to be over with and for it to go off without a hitch. It was such a big thing to plan myself, you know?”

---