Page 54 of That Touch

“She didn’t come between you two at all, did she?” She lifts an eyebrow at me suspiciously.

“Paige? God, no,” I say, shaking my head as I lay the envelope on the table by the door. “Nothing like that, don’t worry.”

“Well, just consider everything I said, okay? I just want you to be happy, and I want you to know that you deserve to be happy.” She holds my arms, staring at me.

“I know. Thanks, sis.” I pull her into my arms, giving her a hug before I head out to meet with my father.

* * *

By the timeI get back to my house, I’m beat. My mind has been running in circles after my talk with Milly. I keep going back and forth on what she said: that I need to push my insecurities aside and just focus on being happy. I’ll never know if I don’t try. One minute, I’ve convinced myself that I can do it, the next I’m filled with fear, imagining myself seeing anger and resentment in her eyes.

I kick off my boots, pausing by my front door, when my eyes land on the envelope my sister gave me earlier. I pick it up, staring at it, then bring it with me into the kitchen, where I toss it on the kitchen table. I have no idea what it is, but I really don’t feel like reading a declaration of love from Paige after the way I threw her out of my house the last time I saw her. Hell, even worse, maybe it’s her chewing me the fuck out.

I reach into the fridge, grabbing a beer and the chili I made yesterday. I place the pot on the stove, turning it on low to reheat before cracking open the beer and trudging my way to the bathroom to take a shower.

I go through my same routine I do every night: I shower, eat dinner alone at my kitchen table, then head to my recliner, where I watch a bit of TV until I nod off. After dinner, I wash my dishes, grabbing another beer and turning to head into the living room when the envelope catches my eye again. I grab it, walking to my chair and sitting down as I flip to ESPN. I try to focus on the sports highlights, but my eyes keep drifting to the envelope, something telling me to just open it. Finally, I reach for it. I pull it open, sliding out a letter. Before I even finish reading the greeting, I realize it isn’t from Paige; it’s in Dolly’s handwriting. I sit up straight, leaning over to turn on the light on the table next to me as I hunch over the letter to read it.

My Dearest Ranger Danger,

I’m not evensure how to begin this letter, so I’m just going to write directly from my heart. I can’t tell you how happy you have made me in life, and I don’t just mean the few months we took our friendship to a new level. Just having you by my side over the years has filled me with so much joy and happiness, it could last two lifetimes. You have truly always been my best friend. I’m sorry if that was ever called into question or didn’t show through my actions. You are an incredible person, and I’m so lucky I’ve not only known you, but also had the chance to have you in my life and love you.

I don’t know where we stand. I don’t know if you hate me or never want to see me again, but I have to be honest with you. You were incredibly honest and vulnerable with me regarding your feelings recently, and I have been hiding from mine for so long, but you deserve to know.

The night I met you when we were teenagers, I knew you were supposed to be my forever. I followed you around that party wanting so badly for you to notice me—to give me even a scrap of attention. When you approached me at school the next day in the hallway, it was like time stood still. My heart felt like it was about to beat out of my chest and butterflies were going to tear through my stomach. This is the part where my guilt kicks in, because in my immaturity, I only said yes to Dean’s invitation to homecoming because I thought it would make you jealous. I wanted you to ask me so bad.

I liked Dean; he was so much fun and he made me laugh. I truly fell in love with him. Over the years, that love and that bond grew stronger, but I fell in love with you first. I was still in love with you, but I told myself to push those feelings aside because it wasn’t right. I was happy with Dean for most of our relationship, until things started to change at the end, but I would never betray him or your friendship with him.

I just want you to know that you aren’t alone in the guilt you’ve struggled with over the years for loving me. I’ve lived with that guilt every single day knowing that I’ve loved you both, and the only way I could ever act on my love for you meant I would hurt Dean and break his heart. I definitely never thought we would both lose him forever.

I don’t know if this helps or makes things worse, but I had to get it out. I couldn’t go another day with all of this bottled up inside. When I lost my unborn baby and then Dean, you were all I had. You were my everything. It had nothing to do with you being my last tie to Dean . . . it was because you were Ranger, my soulmate.

I still can’t believe you’re gone. I can’t accept that I’ve lost you. I feel so broken and hopeless without you, but I know I have to be strong—that I have to go on—because our baby needs me. I realized just a few days ago that I’m pregnant. I wanted to tell you to your face, but I was terrified . . . I am terrified. I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing you disappointed or sad that I’m upending your life. I don’t want that, truly. I want you to be happy, and if being with me is too hard, I get it. I will never resent you or hold it against you.

I truly believe that you are the man I was meant to grow old with in this lifetime. We were the right people who met at the wrong time. We have been given a second chance at happiness, at a life together. If you still feel the same way about me, please give me that second chance. I don’t want to live another day fighting or running from my feelings for you. Whatever you choose, I will always love you, Ranger Slade.

Yours Forever,

Dolly

I stare at the paper,blinking rapidly. I can’t comprehend what I just read. I read the letter again, then proceed with a third and fourth time. Tears are streaming down my face, and my hands are shaking as a sob tears through my chest.

Before I can process it, I’m reaching for my phone, texting my dad to let him know I’m taking the private jet back to Colorado tomorrow.

19

DAHLIA

“Coming!” I say as someone pounds on my front door seconds after ringing the doorbell. “Where’s the fi—” I freeze after opening the door and coming face to face with Ranger.

“Did you mean this?” he asks, holding up the envelope with the letter I left him on his front porch. I stand there in silence, still shocked that he’s on my front porch after nearly four months of nothing. “Are you really pregnant?”

Hearing him say that snaps me back to reality. I nod my head a little. “Yes, yes, I meant it, and yes . . . I’m pregnant.” My eyes fall to my feet, my hand instinctively coming to rest on my belly.

His hands dart forward, his arms enveloping me as he steps forward and pulls me against him. “I’m so sorry,” he says over and over, his cheek resting against my hair.

“Why now?” I ask, pushing against him and stepping back to look at him.

“What?” He shakes his head in confusion.

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