Page 35 of That Touch

“Shit, baby, I’m not gonna last,” I groan, my fingers digging into her scalp as my hips move with the rhythm of her face. “Oh yes, let me fuck that mouth.” I can feel the pressure building as I look down my body, her eyes looking up at me as I thrust my hips forward again a little harder. “Just like that, baby, let me use your mouth for a minute.” She gags and I pause for a second, but she grips my ass, pulling me back into her mouth deeply. “Oh, you like it rough, don’t you? You want me to shoot my load down your throat again? You want my cum in your belly?”

She nods and it’s over. I thrust two more times, holding her on my cock as I shout, releasing my orgasm down her throat.

“Fuck!” I blink rapidly, fireworks exploding behind my eyes as I grow lightheaded. I release her head, looking down at her to make sure I don’t push her too hard. “Are you okay? I lost control.”

“Yeah.” I help her stand up, her hand wiping at her mouth as a tear falls from her eyes. “That was exciting.”

“Are you sure?” I’m not sorry I pushed her—she told me she wanted me to be rough with her, after all—but I don’t want her thinking I don’t care if I hurt her, so I don’t want to push her too far.

“Next time,” she smiles seductively, “pull my hair a little harder, daddy.” She drags her finger down my chest, stepping around me, but I stop her. My hand reaches up her body in a flash, wrapping around her throat as I lower my lips to hers.

“Call me that again when my cock is inside you, and I promise you’ll be begging for mercy.”

I don’t give her time to respond. Instead, I grab her, tossing her over my shoulder and walking us both to the end of the dock, jumping in.

“Holy shit!” she screams as we resurface. “You ass!” She splashes water at me, laughing as her teeth chatter together.

“I knew you’d never do it on your own.” I reach out to her, pulling her against me as her arms wrap around my neck. “It’ll be okay in a few minutes after we get used to it.”

“A few minutes? I’ll be dead from hypothermia.”

“Nah, but I can guarantee you this will be a skinny-dipping memory you won’t forget.” I want these memories burned into her brain. I want her to remember these times when I’m not here anymore.

“Of course I won’t forget this. She looks at me, her eyes expressing something I can’t decipher. “You know you’re my best friend, right?”

I nod. “I do. You’re mine, too.”

“I hope,” she leans in, kissing me gently, “that this is just the beginning of so many more new memories we’ll make together.”

My heart feels like it wants to leap out of my chest. I’ve waited what feels like my entire existence for this, but no matter how much I want it, no matter how much I feel like I’ll never love anyone the way I love Dolly, I don’t feel like it’s fair—like I deserve her.

After we dry off and dress, we lie on our backs on the dock, staring up at the sky like we did when we were teenagers.

“What did you want to be when you grew up?”

She sighs. “I hope this doesn’t sound like I didn’t have dreams or goals, but really, I just wanted a family. I always wanted a little store of my own, but weirdly, I thoughtthatwas the dream I’d never get, not the family one. I thought since Dean and I were married by 20, it would just be an added bonus if I got my little store, too. What about you? I guess it’s kind of hard to have your own dreams when you’re born a Slade.”

I chuckle. “I mean, you’re not wrong. To be honest, I never gave it too much thought. Not because I felt like my life was already planned out for me, but because I knew I really loved ranching, and since that’s in our blood too, I guess it worked out for me.”

“You think your parents would have supported it if you wanted to do something completely outside the family business? Like be a lawyer or something?”

“Can you imagine me as a lawyer?” We both smile. “I think they would have, absolutely. My dad had his garage for years when he was younger. He really fought being involved in the family business, but as he got older, he saw the value in it. I think he’d probably still want us involved in some capacity. Like with Mill, he fully supports her job at the library, but I think given how smart she is, and her natural leadership ability, it’s hard for him to not want her to use that in some way with the business.”

“Does she want to be involved?”

“I think so. I don’t think it’s a situation where she absolutely wants nothing to do with it and feels forced into it. I think my dad knows it wouldn’t work if he tried forcing her. The last thing he wants is for us to regret our lives—to look back and wish we could do things differently.”

“I understand that feeling.” She says it so softly, I wonder if she even meant for me to hear it. My arms are bent behind my head, and I turn my face slightly to look at her.

“Do you regret the store?”

“No, not at all. I love my shop. Honestly, it brings me so much joy and happiness. But I’d be lying if I said it replaces the family I wanted.” She folds her hands together on her stomach, sadness in her tone now. “If I could give it all up for that, I would.”

The guilt I’ve been swallowing for the last few weeks has slowly begun to creep back up—the guilt that tells me I’m betraying the memory of my best friend by finally feeling like life is playing out the way it should have been. Because the reality is, in order for me to get my happily ever after with the woman I love, she had to lose the family she’d planned with him . . . and the only reason I’m getting to be happy is because my best friend is dead, and any hope Dolly had of a family with him is dead too.

13

DAHLIA

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