Page 28 of The Return of Antonides

“There are a lot of at-risk kids there. Kids who haven’t had a lot of chances. They see their little patch of turf and not much else. They don’t know what else there is in the world—unless they see it on TV. So five years ago, after we came back from a canoeing trip to the Southwest where we’d seen groups of kids doing what we were doing and having a blast, Matt said, ‘The St. Bren’s kids would love that.’ And it started from there.”

“You took kids to Utah?”

“No. We started trying to find places that we could teach them canoeing and kayaking around here.” They’d scavenged up used canoes and kayaks as cheaply as they could. “We took a few hand-picked souls to the marina on Saturdays.” She shook her head, remembering. “It was a disaster.”

Lukas’s brows lifted. “Sounds like a good idea.”

“Yes, well, they were afraid of the water. Not one of them could swim. And they didn’t want to learn. Too far out of their comfort zone. We were pretty naive.”

“You grew up around water. So did I.”

“Yes. And we never gave a thought to how far they’d have to go to make that leap. We needed to start on the ground, let them dip a toe in a pool. So we started there. It was a slow process, but eventually we had some kids who could swim. And when they could, others wanted to. And then we started again with the kayaks and canoes. By this time we figured that they benefitted if they were involved with everything, if they were invested in patching canoes and making kayaks water worthy.” She smiled. “Matt showed them how to do that. And they got good at it. They like canoeing. They like kayaking. And now they have confidence to try other new things. The boat—well, the boat was just sitting there. He’d given up on you coming back.” She slanted a brief glance at him when she said the words. She didn’t mean them judgmentally anymore, though she had for years. She had come to accept that Lukas didn’t have much follow-through. And, personally, given what had happened on prom night, she was glad he’d stayed gone.

“I couldn’t, could I?” Lukas said now. His gaze bored into hers.

Holly met it this time, but she waited for him to explain.

“I’d betrayed Matt. I’d hurt you. I—” he began, but then just closed his mouth and shook his head. “I didn’t have much to stay for.”

Holly wasn’t sure about that, but the way he said it didn’t brook any argument. And this was Lukas, she reminded herself. He wasn’t known for staying power.

“Well, anyway,” she went on, “Matt thought there were some kids who could work together, who could learn some planning and teamwork that way, if they worked on the boat. And he’d work with them. And then he would teach them to sail.” She could still remember the light of enthusiasm in his eyes when he’d talked about it.

Lukas still seemed to be listening intently. He didn’t interrupt, he didn’t jump up to pace around or crack his knuckles or say, That’s a dumb idea.

All things that the Lukas she remembered would have done.

This Lukas just sat still and waited for her to continue. Holly swallowed and went on. “He had just talked to Father Morrison about it...the week before he died. But he said he had to make sure it was okay with you.”

“Of course it would have been okay with me!”

“You know Matt,” Holly said. “He did things by the book. You owned half the boat, ergo, he needed to ask you.”

But writing to Lukas was something Holly had never felt up to. So she’d dropped the ball.

Now she said, “If it was so obvious that ‘of course it would have been okay with you’ why are we even having this discussion?”

Lukas shrugged. “I wanted to see you again. I told you that. And yes, you can have the boat. It sounds like a great plan.” He settled back against the sofa now and took a long swallow of coffee. “But I’d like to see it first.”

Holly stared at him. “See what? The boat?”

He nodded. “It’s been a long time.”

“Of course.” She didn’t ask why. Maybe he was feeling a little sentimental about what might have been. “It’s at your brother Elias’s boatyard. Just ask him.”

“With you,” Lukas said.

She almost spilled her coffee. “With me? You don’t need me there.”

“I want you there.”

“Why?”

He shrugged. “It feels right.”

---