Page 87 of Just For Her

Tove lifted something to her mouth. It was lip balm, and she took her time applying it. “I’ve been thinking a lot about things. You and me. The shop. What I want from life.”

Kayla refused to get her hopes up. “Oh?”

“I don’t regret the way I reacted on… well, back in Portland. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, but mine had been buried in the dirt and stomped on before the rain dried.”

“I mean… I get it.”

“But I should have reached out to you when my anger cooled. You deserved to tell your side of the story. I acted immature about that. I’m sorry. I…” Tove snapped her purse shut after putting her lip balm away. “I understand what you may have been thinking a lot more now.”

“Do you?”

“Did you really love me?” Tove asked. “Do you still love me?”

“Tove…” Kayla was blinded by the sun when she looked in her ex-girlfriend’s direction, but she didn’t mind squinting so hard that her whole face hurt. What bothered her more was the insatiable urge to wrap her arms around the woman who had offered endless comfort for the few months they were together.That had been real.The more Kayla and Tove were apart, the easier it was to believe.

Tove still waited for an answer.

“Of course I loved you. Maybe it wasn’t the kind of automatic, world-shaking love that you read about in books, but I was genuinely excited when we decided to elope. I wantedyouto be my other half. I saw us spendingyearstogether, hanging out at home, talking about our work, maybe traveling… being a couple who took care of each other. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I simply never thought it would be a woman who ended up being that person in my life.”

Tove tucked a ringlet of hair out of her face.

“As for whether I still love you… come the hell on, who buys a gift shop for someone if they don’t love them?”

A small smile cracked where Tove had applied her lip balm. “That is, by far, the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.”

“Except you’re not taking my offer, are you?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, Kay.” Without getting her hopes up, Kayla appreciated the use of her shortened name in Tove’s tone of voice. It had been too long! “It’s… a really big deal. Even if I reduced my client list to only those in my family, that’s a lot of unknowns. I’m a careful person by nature. My savings and investments aren’t what you fantasized about. If running the store completely bombs…”

“You’re in a better position than I am for that,” Kayla interrupted. “At least you can go back to being an accountant. I’ve got… waitressing… ugh, I’m so tired of it. Retail might at least be a nice change of pace now, but there are no tips! I love tips!”

“You love money.”

“I love security. I love knowing that the bills are paid and I don’t have to worry about what happens if I get sick like my mom. The last thing I want to be is a burden. That includes you. But I thought if I was with someone who had money… I mean, this is before I knew that your aunt paid for your mom’s care.”

“She pays for most of it, yes. Honestly, you bought the shop withhermoney? That’s insane. What happens if we get back together? She’ll be pissed.”

“Sounds like a problem for tomorrow. Because right now, all I can think about is how nice it would be to tackle these challenges together. As a team.”

Tove held her hand out to Kayla. Tentatively, their fingers intertwined. It was the first time they touched each other since their supposed wedding day.

“I’ve still got the dress, you know,” Kayla said without thinking. “Maybe that’s dumb.” The sweat from skin-on-skin contact made her finger slip away from Tove’s. “I really like it.”

“You were radiant.”

“Am I not still?”

Tove chuckled. “I don’t want to keep you from work.” She stood up, purse draping against her hip. “How about I unlock you from my phone and text you when to meet me tonight? If you have time. We can discuss the future in depth. At our own pace.”

Kayla bit back a grin. “I’d like that.”

When she returned to work only one minute late, it was with a noticeable skip in her step. Everyone asked her what had made her happy on break. She kept the intimate knowledge to herself. Besides, she didn’t want to jinx it.

It was surreal being back in Tove’s home after a summer of longing. With a dinner of take-out from the brewery provided on Kayla’s dime, they didn’t waste time sitting down at the table and going over the numbers Kayla had collected those past few weeks.

As Tove slowly accepted that her lifelong dream might come true – if only she’d let it – a new look overcame her. Gone was the somber fifty-year-old who tried to be serious, considerate, and conservative in her planning. Kayla was now reintroduced to the kid inside of Tove, whose eyes lit up at the thought of designing her own T-shirts and anticipating what the future tourists of Bend, Oregon might want to take home with them. She joked about how to tell some of her more untalented relativesno,while carefully suggesting to ones who might know what they were doing how to be more profitable. “It always drives me nuts,” she confessed to Kayla, who was on her second glass of Diet Coke, “to see some real talent in my family being appliedmiserablybecause nobody tells them no or how to edit their work.”

“It’s clear that Trudy has a lot of sense for the business.” Kayla pointed to a copy of the previous year’s budget. “It’s not a big moneymaker, but she knows what sells. Biggest improvements can be made toward social media and newsletter presence.”

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