“You don’t want to wear a dress?”
“Sure, but…”
“We’ll go shopping together tomorrow! I’ve already narrowed it down to two boutiques. I think you’ll find theperfectdress, Tove. If you’d rather wear a suit, that’s fine too! I’m sure we’ll look great together. How could we not?”
Tove was happy that her fiancée was happy, if only because she wanted time to go by faster. The part of her that didn’t like a lot of attention was also grateful that they were eloping instead of having a “to-do” of a wedding. Yet when they went to bed in their hotel room that night, she tossed and turned, wondering if this was the right thing to do.
She was in love, yes… but it was all happening so fast.
“Do you actually love this woman?” the accusative voice asked over the line. “Or is it about the money for you?”
Kayla was offended that Grady would even go there.Here I am, calling him up to invite him to my wedding tomorrow, and he’s giving me the fourth, fifth, and sixth degrees!When she was eating her breakfast in a corner café, no less!
“Of course I love her!” Kayla stuffed more croissant in her mouth, her toes tapping against the window overlooking Northrup Street. The bright, white sheen of the trendy and modern café invited customers to stay for an hour at most – and that wasn’t just the hard wooden stool at the counter talking. Kayla could barely see well enough to call her brother. “What kind of woman do you take me for? Wait, don’t answer that.”
Grady grumbled something, and Kayla chose to acknowledge it as him talking to one of his children. When he raised his voice again, though, it was directed at his sister. “You’ve spent half our lives talking about how you’re gonna marry rich one day. Now you’ve been in Bend for barely four months, and you’re engaged? To awoman?Since when are you LGBT?”
“Ugh, could you sound more hick when you say that?” Kayla brushed crumbs off the Kate Spade dress she had reworn that day.I did not pack enough to be gone for a week.She had to buy a new pack of underwear since it was more convenient than finding a laundromat. “Anyway, there’s a lot you don’t know about me because it never came up. So happens thatI likethis woman. The fact that she’s older than me doesn’t matter.”
“How much older?”
“That’s beside the point.”
“Kayla.”
She jerked upright at this tone. Luckily for her, nobody heard the stool scraping against the floor with Motley Crue playing loudly on the café speakers. “She’s fifty. There. You happy?”
“Of course she’s fifty,” Grady sighed.
“Somethingwrongwith that? You getting ageist on me?”
“No. That’s me expressing my sympathy toward a woman who doesn’t know who she’s dealing with. Next, you’ll tell me she’s never been married before.”
Kayla gritted her teeth. “None of your business.”
“Ah, but you know.”
“The hell is your problem? I thought you’d be happy for me! You never had a problem with the older guys I dated. What makes Tove so different?”
She swore that her brother almost hung up on her.So much for being supportive, Grady.Here was a man who had busted ass like her to get by. While he did heavy labor and broke half his body by thirty in the trades, she had been on her feet all day in restaurants and, as he once drunkenly implied,“spent all night on her back.”That was the last time Kayla had a huge fight with her brother, and it had been so many years ago that she thought they were past this.
“You know I want to secure my future,” Kayla spat into the silence of her phone. Overhead, Motley Crue melded into Culture Club. Yet the new wave beats thumping overhead and reminding Kayla of listening to the radio as a kid – while realizing this was the music of Tove’s adolescence – did not drown out the thoughts now beating down Kayla’s door. “You’ve got your wife to rely on. She’s got you. Your kids have at least one of you until they’re grown, God willing. Yet what do I get, Grady? Tove is a kind woman who loves me. Yeah, the money fucking rocks. I wouldn’t have started dating her if I didn’t have some dollar signs in my eyes. Her family owns a suburb of Bend, and their influence in the whole town extends up to the Columbia Gorge. We’re talking about old-schooltimbermoney. Even if she’s not the richest person in her family, she’s still got like… millions to her name. I’m not joking. Like… so what! You think I can’t love someone like that? I sure love her more than most of the older guys I dated here in Portland. Seriously. Would you be acting like this if it were a man the same age? Or is this your weird sexist take in the name of looking like some feminist ally?”
“Jesus, Kay.” Grady backed down right as Kayla got fired up. “I get it. You’re determined to do this.” He sighed again. “We’ll be there. Tell us when and where. Our neighbor can watch the boys if she knows it’s for my sister’s wedding. You know I wouldn’t miss it.”
The firewall around Kayla’s heart dowsed itself with the currents of relief rushing through her body. “I’m glad to hear it. It wouldn’t be the same without you guys there.”
When she hung up a few minutes later, Kayla leaned her elbows against the counter and contemplated the early summer beyond the window. For every happy person passing by with a skip in their step, there was someone who looked like they carried half the weight of the world on their shoulders. Kayla knew what it was like to be both of those people.And the other can come for you at any moment.A few months ago, she was lost, with the only direction pointing her toward a friend’s house in Bend. Kayla was at an age where she wanted true independence – something she thought she once knew, but now realized had only been an illusion backed by necessity. It was one thing to do whatever it took to make money for her and her brother. It was quite another to say,“Yes, I choose this life.”
She had chosen Tove. Maybe there were people out there more compatible with her, and maybe Kayla could find those people… but right now, at this point in her life? Tove was more than acceptable. She was great.
Every day, Kayla loved her more. Just because someone wasn’t who Kayla pictured being in her life, didn’t mean it was the wrong move. Sometimes, it was nice to be pleasantly surprised by such charming turns in events.
Now… didn’t she have an appointment at the wedding boutique to get to?
On the night before their scheduled elopement, Tove treated her fiancée to upscale sushi and filled their hotel room bathtub with bubble bath she procured at the local grocery and more.Cost more than it does back in Bend, but what are you going to do? You only get married once.
That was Tove’s thought process as she crashed through the hours leading up to the morning of her wedding. Every time she looked at Kayla, who had never been so happy, she told herself this was the right thing. How could marrying such a pleasant person be wrong?