Page 50 of Just For Her

“I didn’t mean to,” Kayla mumbled. “I have worn skis before, I swear. I just haven’t… gone down the mountain before.”

“So I saw. I keep thinking how badly that could have gone had you tried it!”

“Don’t tell me twice. Why do you think I almost fainted? I saw my stupid life flash before my eyes. Hmph. Wasn’t that impressive.”

Tove shook her head. “You could have told me that you were inexperienced but interested in trying the beginner courses. I would have been more than happy to teach you how to ski if you were genuinely interested. It’s not that hard to pick up… but you have to be honest about your skill level.”

Kayla rubbed a kink out of her shoulder, looking like the sorriest girl on Mt. Hood. “I don’t know… I guess you’ve caught me in one of the worst things about myself. I tend to get overzealous about who I am in new relationships. I want the person I’m dating to like me so much that I agree with everything that isn’t a hard boundary. You went on about how much your family skis, and I couldn’t help myself from saying thatIlove skiing. Which is ridiculous. I told you how poor I was growing up. You think we could afford to ski? Only reason I know how to put on a pair is because my neighbor had some to lend when we were snowed in really bad a few years ago. Come on. Imagine me strapping on skis for the first time to waddle over to Safeway for provisions. I wasn’t the only one doing it that year!”

Tove held up a hand. “I’m not mad, Kay. Just confused.” Her hand was soon back around her hot to-go cup. “I’ve never been with someone who gets so excited about a relationship that she… lies. Or at least fudges the truth about some things. This is new territory for me.”

“How do you think I feel?”

Not great, probably.It was obvious that Kayla was embarrassed, but Tove had little sympathy.She could have gotten herself or someone else killed out there.She certainly would have hurt herself.I wouldn’t be able to live with it, knowing that I was the reason she got hurt.Perhaps Kayla was the one who lied about her skills on the slopes, but it was Tove’s idea to come here. Logic didn’t matter when emotions were haywire.

“Is there anything else you’ve fibbed about?” Tove went over everything Kayla had claimed to love or be since they met. The first thing to come to mind was inspired by someone bringing over a hot bowl of macaroni and cheese with bacon bits sprinkled on top.

Both Tove and Kayla looked at the bacon before glancing at one another again.

“Are you really a vegetarian?” Tove asked.

“Of course I am. Why would I lie about something likethat?”

Tove wasn’t sure how she felt about Kayla asserting that so forcefully. It only made her sound guiltier.

“Sorry. I guess I should shoulder some of the blame in this situation as well. It probably was too good to be true that someone I met was really into skiing as well. But… are you genuinely interested in it? Would you like to get good enough to go down a blue trail say, next winter?”

Kayla’s face softened. “I honestly don’t know what that means.”

“It’s the measure of difficulty. Green is for beginners, blue is intermediate… once you’re in blacks and diamonds, it’s more difficult. Mt. Hood is good for the greens and blues. Back when I used to ski more, I had a favorite diamond trail.” Heather Canyon was a place where she and her cousins proved themselves to each other when they were younger. She still had vivid memories of Thomas tumbling halfway down the trail with hardly a scratch on him.I haven’t fallen since I was a newbie.As the years went by, her cousins used it as proof of her stability.

“I guess I am interested, especially if it’s something your family does a lot. I’m aware of how much I already stick out to them. The least I could do is find an activity that you all enjoy.”

“You don’t have to…”

“Tove.” With two fists formed, Kayla lightly thumped them against the table. “I don’t want certain things I’ve said to be alie.Maybe I preemptively jumped the gun, you know? I’m not good at skiing yet. I will be soon! I need some practice, and to be realistic about what I can do. So…” She sighed, fists flattening on either side of her hot cup. “Guess I should start with lessons. Me and kiddies doing pizza slices and French fries down the bunny slope.”

“Buttercup,” Tove interjected. “I mean… sorry. Yeah, that’s probably the best place to start. I think they have one more beginner’s lesson before the end of the day. Do you want to try it? Should still be time to sign you up.”

Kayla was more alert now than she had been at the trail. “Huh? You mean today?”

“You don’t have to, but I’d be happy to treat you. They’re about two hours, so it’s not completely selfless of me… could be a good excuse for me to hit some slopes on my own.”

Kayla slowly lifted her cup to her lips. “You’d do that?”

“Sure. Why not?”

She saw the answer in Kayla’s eyes.“Because it costs money. Because I lied to you. Because I’ve ruined our day on the mountain.”This was supposed to be Tove’s post-season getaway, and Kayla had “mucked it up” by not only lying about something dangerous but by asking her girlfriend to shell out more money to buy her lessons. What was supposed to be them having a fun day outside in the wintery weather had turned into something more sinister.

“I want you to have fun,” Tove said. “This is your vacation, too.”

By the time they finished their coffees, Kayla agreed to try out the lessons. They had enough time to sign her up before the class began. Handing her off to a twenty-something woman surrounded by children of different school years felt odd until a retiree shuffled up and asked if it was too late to join. He and Kayla quickly became conversation partners.

Kayla had a brave smile as she went off with the class. Left to her own devices, Tove couldn’t think of anything better than heading back to the slopes she was most comfortable navigating with grit and spirit.

She perched atop a lonely trail that she had skied down more than once in her fifty years.The last time I took his trail, I was angry about something.It didn’t hit her until she took off down the slope, the wind blasting in her face and her skis gliding effortlessly over the snow.

Right. My aunt had insinuated that I would be good for nothing more than helping the rest of the family maintain their image and achieve their dreams. Fuck my ambitions.

---