Page 25 of Just For Her

Tove’s silence was probably toxic enough to kill.

“Because that’s okay if it was.” Kayla abandoned her fork to drink more of her coffee. As far as Tove could tell, her guest drank it black. “Maybe I was proving myself too.”

“What a strange conversation,” Tove said. “So early in the day, too.”

Kayla giggled. “I’m sorry. I laugh when I’m nervous.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Of course I am. I’m giggling. There’s no denying it.”

“Why are you nervous?”

The way Kayla responded to that curt question almost made Tove feel bad for asking it. “Because I like you. I had a great time last night, despite how things started. Here I am, trying to jump into something casual, and you might reject me. I have to prepare myself for that.”

“The conversation hasn’t allowed me to decide.”

“I am sorry, though. I like to get ahead of myself when I sense something good on the horizon. My moving to Bend was a spur-of-the-moment thing. I should know better by now.”

There were other questions Tove could have asked in response to that, but she was more inclined to stick with the current subject. “I have no intention of rejecting you, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea to jump into something intense right now.”

“Doesn’t have to be intense…”

“I already told you that it’s been a long time since my last relationship. I’m not sure what kind of woman I am in one anymore. Besides, there’s how it might look to my family, even if we keep it casual.”

“Would they disapprove of it?”

“My family is… stringent about certain things. I faced some homophobic backlash in my youth, but they eventually came around when it was economically and socially viable for them to change opinions.” Tove left out that there had always been supporters and allies in her family, like her mother, but that was usually on the non-Gustav side of the clan.The more money, the more people want things to remain a certain way.That was certainly true of Aunt Kiersten, who was the most vocal about family members bringing their boyfriends or girlfriends to the vacation home for the sole purpose of getaway premarital sex.She outright said to me, “The only thing worse than two women having sex in that house would be two men. At least you’ve got that going for you.”“It’s not so much that you’re another woman as much as it’s how much younger you are than me. Also, the fact that you’re an outsider.”

“Right. They must think I’m some gold digger.” Kayla giggled again. Did that statement make her nervous?

“They might not say that to our faces.” Unless it got more serious, but Tove didn’t add that. “Although it’s something to consider. I can date who I please, of course, but there are always repercussions. It doesn’t help that many of us Fredrikssons over the generations have colored family thoughts on large age gaps. Unless it’s one ofusmarrying older, of course.”

“My goodness…” Another giggle. “Who said anything aboutmarriage?”

Indeed, who had? Certainly, not Tove, who swore she saiddatingand not the M-word.

Kayla cleared her throat, restructured her posture, and said, “I like what I’ve seen of you so far. I hope you like me. I’d love to take it slow with you. See where the winds of fate take us.”

The winds of fate…Sometimes, Tove thought she was too old to think of fate as anything but something the youth clung to in the hopes of making sense of their lives. There was no fate. There was only hope.

She always hoped for something new. Now, she hoped she wasn’t making a huge mistake when she glanced in Kayla’s direction and immediately thought about taking her to bed again.

Because that was as good as sayingyes.

The snow was still thick on the side of the road, but once Kayla was back in town, the world was her oyster. Most of the main streets were cleared, and Huey insisted on gifting her the house’s backup chains in case she found herself stranded again. Not that Kayla thought the chains would have been much help in her recent situation. Besides, things had not gone terribly.

Something she was eager to discuss with Chrissy once they had some time to themselves.

That came Saturday when they took the SUV downtown and had lunch in a popular brunch spot. Kayla was surprised at how busy the place was even though it was still freezing outside and a bit icy on the side roads. Chrissy assured her that this was normal once the novelty of the snow wore off after a day or two. “By day three,” she lamented as they waited ten minutes for a table, “everyone has cabin fever.”

She already knew what happened with Tove, because Kayla could not keep it to herself once she was back in Chrissy and Huey’s house. While Chrissy was surprised that it happened so soon, she was more concerned about what this meant for Kayla’s actual prospects in Bend.

“You’re not like actually gay though,” she whispered over their mimosas. “Are you? You always dated guys.”

“I told her I’m bisexual. Maybe it’s true. Who the hell knows.”

“Areyou bi?”

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