Page 105 of Everything She Feared

Hetta Boden had lowered herself beside the chair, concern in her face as she studied Marjorie.

“May I get someone, or get you some water?”

“No, thank you.” Marjorie politely waved off the offer and found her composure. “I was just lost in my memories.”

47

Seattle, Washington

The steps creakedas Sara climbed them to the attic, guided by the weak light spilling up the narrow stairway from below.

Anxiety had tormented her for days before she overcame it and found the will to come up here—uncertain of what she would awaken.

At the top, she opened the attic door and tried the light switch. It didn’t work. She used the flashlight on her phone and glanced around. Dust mites swirled above boxes of old clothes, Christmas decorations and cartons of items jettisoned from their lives.

Sitting on a wooden chest filled with old blankets, Sara slid a carton closer and pulled out a photo album. Her mom had one or two albums at Silverbrook Hills, but most of them were here.

The laminated pages crackled as Sara looked through the images of her family taken over the years, coming to happy times with Nathaniel. Sara had her favorites of Nathaniel downstairs in her room, and on her phone. But there were more family pictures here.

She traced her fingers over Nathaniel’s face, smiling at her from his motorcycle, so handsome. Here he was at his shop. There he was helping at the shelter. Here he was holding Katie when she was born. Here he was with Katie on his shoulders, looking up at her; she was laughing down at him.

Sara smiled back at the photos of her mom and dad, Christmases, birthdays.

Closing the album, she glanced at a cardboard box, one she rarely opened.

Because I know what’s there, waiting for me. The truth.

It contained old things: a lamp, bookends and candlestick holders. But under them, hidden, was a box.

She opened it to faded clippings, photocopies and printouts of old newspaper reports. Sara scanned the headlines:

Survivor’s account unearths link to troubling case

FBI to lead probe of several disappearances across several states

Husband and wife tied to multiple slayings

Hearts of Darkness: Murder Suspect’s Wife Seeks Deal

Sara couldn’t go any further.

Why didn’t I get rid of all this stuff long ago?

She put the box away, unable to silence the shrieks from the recesses of her mind, pulling her back...the rain...the pain...the screaming, kicking...clawing...bleeding...the thudding...the digging...the blood...

She shook her head to drive the images from her.

I know who I am! I’m not them! I’m not them!

Sara fought a great sob.

But Katie?

The drawing, Anna, and there was the boy, and how Katie had said at the time: “It’s sad what happened to him.” But it wasthe wayKatie had said it. Like she didn’t mean it.

Oh, God! What do I do? Please tell me what to do!

48