Page 35 of Everything She Feared

“Yes, when I saw it on the news, I sent you that email.”

“Oh, I haven’t read it yet. I’m so sorry—things have been so hectic.”

“It’s okay. This is all just so horrible.”

Sara nodded, her chin crumpling.

“You don’t know all of it. Anna Shaw was Katie’s sitter, and when she fell, Katie was there.”

Marjorie Cole drew a breath. “Katie was there when she died?”

Sara nodded, tears rolling down her face.

“In what way was she there, Sara?”

“She was the only person with her, the last person to see her alive.”

Marjorie blinked, wincing slightly.

“Mom, I can’t even say the words. I just don’t know how to deal with it.”

Marjorie lifted her wrinkled hands, taking Sara’s hands into hers, while looking at Sara’s tattoo.

“Mom, it can’t be true, can it?”

They both turned to watch Katie across the room, sitting at the table with her legs crossed, finishing her chocolate. Her tablet was angled; they could see the movie. It was playing the part where the wicked witch queen was offering Snow White a poisoned apple.

“Tell me it’s not true, Mom.” Sara’s whispered voice cracked.

Marjorie’s face filled with trepidation, then tender compassion.

“I know you’re afraid. I know what you fear. But you have to stay strong and trust your heart. Katie’s a good girl.”

15

Seattle, Washington

Here’s Anna Shaw,a toddler blowing out candles on a cake.

Now here’s Anna, front teeth missing, a pink helmet, gripping the handles of her bike. “Watch me, Daddy, watch!” And here’s Anna, hugging Jon, her little brother, laughing with her mom and dad at the Grand Canyon.

The video played on the screens in the chapel of the funeral home, along with one of Anna’s favorite songs, Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel.” One wall was lined with photos of Anna, always smiling, eyes bright like stars.

Fragrant flowers everywhere.

Anna’s urn and candles were centered at the front on a table.

It was all Sara could do to hold herself together. Katie had wanted to come, so they’d joined the mourners filling the chapel. Most were teens wearing black or dark clothes and holding hands or gripping tissues, amid soft sniffles, whispers and shuffling of fabric.

The service was livestreamed and began with Reverend Arturo Santos from Anna’s family’s church at the podium, welcoming everyone, including those online, reviewing the program agenda.

He paused a moment before continuing.

“In gathering here today to celebrate Anna Catherine Shaw, we may ask why—why was her young life cut short? Parents are not supposed to grieve their children. This is not supposed to happen.

“But it did happen and we don’t have the answers, and it hurts so much for all of us who loved Anna.”

The reverend paused, holding the edges of the podium.

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