Page 32 of Everything She Feared

“I was not aware.” Dr. Mehta took a moment, processing Katie’s connection to the tragedy. “I see.”

“Last night,” Sara said, “Katie had a nightmare about it.”

“Would you like to tell me about it, Katie?” Dr. Mehta asked.

Looking into her hands, Katie began.

“I just keep seeing Anna hanging on to the branch and she keeps begging me to get help, then in the dream I’m having all these bad thoughts and Anna’s screaming why, why, why, and I don’t know why, and I feel like it’s my fault Anna’s dead...”

Katie buried her face into Sara as she consoled her.

Dr. Mehta leaned closer to them.

“Katie—” Dr. Mehta’s voice was soft “—this is a normal reaction. It’s okay to have these thoughts and feelings after such a terrible event.”

Dr. Mehta waited for a few seconds.

“Part of this, the way your mind mends itself and helps you heal, is to relive the tragedy, to blame yourself for what happened, to feel guilty for things that you were never really in control of.”

Dr. Mehta paused.

“You may feel this way for a while because the pain, the hurt, is part of the way our hearts heal. But over time, you’ll stop feeling it so much.”

Katie, still burrowed into Sara, blinked through tears at Dr. Mehta, who continued for several minutes about what to expect and the things Katie and Sara should and should not do.

“Like don’t watch or read the news reports on what happened,” she said. “And remember, you’ll never forget your friend, you’ll always remember her, and when you’re healed, your happy memories will erase the difficult ones you’re holding now.”

Sara cleared her throat.

“Sally, the service for Anna is happening soon. Should I take Katie to it?”

“If Katie wants to go, that’s okay. It’s good to say goodbye and honor the memory of your friend,” Dr. Mehta said. “If Katie prefers not to go, that’s okay, too.”

“Thank you, Sally,” Sara said. “This has been helpful.”

Dr. Mehta reached into her pocket for her card.

“I’m happy to have follow-up sessions with Katie, if you like. No charge.”

“Thank you.”

“Katie, do you have any other questions, anything you’d like to know?”

“So I shouldn’t feel like what happened to Anna was my fault?”

“It was a tragic accident that happened close to you.”

“Just like with that boy,” Katie said.

“No,” Sara said, placing her hand on Katie’s lap. “No, nothing like that.”

Puzzled, Dr. Mehta blinked.

“What boy?” she asked, reaching for her tablet and swiping the screen. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.” Dr. Mehta searched her summary. “There was a boy?”

“No.” Sara was shaking her head. “She’s confused things. It’s a complicated, unrelated matter. Nothing to do with this. No, honey.”

Dr. Mehta pulled her focus from her tablet, to look at Sara and Katie. An awkward silence passed between them before it was broken by Sara.

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