Page 24 of Everything She Feared

“Thank you.”

“Okay, just let me know if you need us, or anything.”

“I will. Thank you, Mel.”

Collecting herself, Sara returned to the kitchen and Katie, who was swirling her reusable straw and looking into her smoothie.

“That was my work, honey.”

Katie didn’t say anything.

Sara’s phone vibrated with two new messages, both from reporters. One from TV,Channel 7 News; the other from theSeattle Times. They were requesting interviews.

Sara left them unanswered.

How did they get my number?

Katie suddenly got up and hugged Sara so hard she nearly lost her balance. She hugged her back, unable to dismiss thinking that at times Katie had seemed somewhat distant. Perhaps it was all stemming from the shock, she thought, before Katie raised her head and looked at her.

“My tablet’s in my backpack. Mom, can I use yours to talk to my friends?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea, honey. Everything’s a little chaotic right now. We need to keep things calm.”

Sara could feel Katie trembling against her.

“Are you cold, sweetie?”

“A little.”

Stroking Katie’s hair, Sara considered the paramedic’s advice to keep her rested. Sara needed to fill the silence with something for Katie. “Let’s go upstairs to my room and watch your favorite movie.”

They got onto Sara’s bed, propped up pillows and got under the big quilt Sara had bought last fall at a fundraiser, and she startedThe Wizard of Ozon her tablet. Seeing Dorothy’s house spinning in the tornado, Sara tried to make sense of Anna’s death.

She’d been in our home so many times to watch over Katie. She was like a big sister to her.

The tornado kept churning and the house kept spinning, like Sara’s thoughts. She held on to Katie but nothing was real anymore.

Please let it all be a dream.

While they watched the movie, the doorbell rang. Looking from her bedroom window, Sara saw a news truck out front but didn’t go down to the door.

“Who is it, Mom?”

“Reporters. We’re not going to talk to them.” Sara stepped back from the window. “After they leave, I’ll fix us something to eat.”

Later she made grilled cheese and tomato soup. Good comfort food, as Mel always said. But they had little appetite. Afterward, the hours seemed to evaporate in a sorrow-filled fog with the evening coming fast.

Sara persuaded Katie to take a hot bath. She knelt next to her at the tub, washing her back, soothing her. Katie sat as if she were in a trance.

“Mom,” Katie said, her voice low and despairing. “What’s wrong with me?”

Her question caught Sara off guard before she recovered.

“What do you mean?”

“I feel like I’m a bad person.”

“Why do you say that?”

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