Page 24 of Collapsed

After she found me, I saw he wasn’t lying. She had given her heart to the others. I can’t lie and say I wasn’t jealous. I started to question why it couldn’t be me. Perhaps that's why I felt bold enough to put myself out there the way I did. It worked out, and she showed me how amazing it is to be loved by her. I can’t blame anyone for wanting to be with her or even near her. The question lingering now is; what does the future for all of us look like?

“BJ, I honestly don’t know what to expect,” I finally admit to her. “I want to be with Nat. I’ve always wanted to be with her, but I have no idea what that means since the guys are in the picture too.”

“How do you feel about the guys? And please, be as honest as possible. I will offer up any tea you want about them,” she tells me with a giggle.

“Well, obviously, Alexie and I have been friends for a long time. I don’t see him in that way, and I don’t want our relationship to change.” I’m only being honest with BJ. Alexie is one of my best friends, and he is a very attractive man, but I have never thought of him like that, and I don’t want to.

“I don’t know much about Conrad,” I continue. “He seems more shy and reserved.”

“Oh, let me tell you about the sweetest Conrad,” BJ says. “He is a gentle soul through and through. Some piping hot tea about him. Your sweet lover, Nat, took his virginity. He wanted to make sure to wait for the right woman, and it happened to be Nat. Marcela and I saw it coming. Really, we saw all of this coming. We used to take bets on who would be first. I thought for sure it would be King. The tension between them was suffocating.”

“About King,” I start to talk again. “What is his deal? I would be lying if I said I don’t find myself staring at him frequently just in shock at how large he is. The man is huge and reminds me of a modern Viking.” I hear BJ burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“Nat described King the exact same way,” she says while still laughing. “King is a tough nut to crack, but once you do, he’s really a big pile of mush trapped inside that tattooed body of a god.”

“I’m not worried about Conrad or Stryker. Stryker and I had a nice conversation on the plane ride here, and I think he understands me better. It’s King that causes me some hesitation because he has such a hard exterior,” I tell her. The conversation with Stryker has really stuck with me.. He could have fought back when I forced my way on the plane to New York, but instead, he really talked to me about why he made the decision to leave me behind.

“What?!” BJ shouts out. “Stryker talked to you?”

“It’s so confusing. I wanted to tear him a new one after trying to leave me behind, but he really opened up about how he cares about me and doesn’t want anything to happen to me. I already feel awful about us acting on our feelings without talking to all of the guys first.” I have to tell her about that last part because if it was me, I’m not sure I would be as accepting as the guys were. Nat and I basically cheated on all of them, or she did, I guess. This entire situation is so new and different that navigating it is going to have its ups and downs. That part is guaranteed, but communication is going to be the most important part.

“Can I just say,” BJ starts in, “I, for one, am absolutely loving this whole situation? I’m still trying to work out where everything would go if ALL of you got together at the same time. Ugh, these are the questions that keep me up at night,” she says in an almost sing-song way. “You’ll have to fill me in on all the details from now on, by the way.”

“Umm, BJ, while I would love to give you nothing but the details. I don’t plan to ever be anything but a friend or sister to the other men. Maybe someday we’d all be in the same room when we make love but only Nat will be touching me. However, I’ll make sure to fill you in on the logistics of how things work,” I start to laugh as I spit out the last bit. She laughs along with me.

“This is exactly what I needed. You know, Nat was really my only girlfriend. It’s nice having someone to talk to that isn’t always off in the middle of the action and is in more of a supporting role, you know?” I ask her.

“Oh, but my angel-faced friend, we are not supporting characters in our own stories. We are the heart and soul that keep this fine-tuned crime-fighting machine pumping,” she exclaims very enthusiastically.

“Anyways, thank you for keeping me distracted. My mind was going to the worst-case scenarios. Have you heard from the team? Are they making progress?” I ask.

“I told you when the shooting starts, they are terrible at communicating,” she says, way too nonchalant.

“They started shooting!” I yell out. “I thought you were just giving an example! Are they okay? BJ, why didn’t you say they were shooting?”

“I did. This is usually how it goes. They can’t exactly be carrying on a full conversation while they’re ducking for cover now, can they?” she retorts back. “Give me a second, I’ll check in with them.”

I can hear her on the other line asking for each of them. She is only saying their names over and over, which does not give me hope that they are responding. I wait for a few minutes while listening to her repeat each of their names.

“BJ? Are they answering?” I can’t wait any longer.

“Nothing yet,” she says, but her voice doesn’t sound as confident as it usually does. “Something must have happened to the comms. They could have a jammer, or…” she pauses.

“Or, what? What aren’t you saying?”

“Sometimes, an explosion can knock them out,” as soon as the words escape her lips, I start to panic. Ivan loves blowing things up. Hell, that’s how he faked his death.

Loud footsteps in the hallway grab my attention. I listen closely for any other sounds or voices. Alexie told me they would use the code word, or else I should shoot anyone that comes through that door.

“BJ,” I whisper. “Someone is outside the door.”

“Katia, do you have a weapon?” she asks, her voice a frantic whisper.

“Yes, Alexie gave me one. He also told me a code word they would use.”

“Good. You need to get low and behind something right now,” she instructs, sounding panicked, which makes me even more nervous. “Aim it at the door. If there’s more than one, you need to keep shooting. Do you understand?”

“BJ,” my voice is shaky, “I’ve never shot a gun.”

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