Page 88 of Sugar Rush

I swallowed and stared at the pale, nightmarish demons. Druden, apparently. I'd never learned their species name the night I took out two hundred of them in a frenzied massacre; I'd only known they were demons and needed to die.

I drew a knife and held it so hard my knuckles went white. Not my glass dagger; that was staying firmly hidden until the optimum moment.

"Hey," I asked casually, "you wanna know why I went to Orchid Vale in the first place?"

My mates wore varying expressions of worry and curiosity. At least I didn't have to tell Dev about this; he'd tasted the souls, he knew what I'd done.

"For a holiday," Joseph said confidently.

"Yes and no." I ran my thumb over the etchings in the dagger's handle, finally dragging my stare from the Druden. "I completely lost it back in London. I went off the deep end, and you've seen my normal, non-deep-end stuff, so you can probably guess how bad that would look."

"What happened?" Ark asked, watching me so closely he saw every shift in my expression.

"What always happens when murder's involved," I sighed, smiling as Dev barked orders at the armies and Jezebel stormed around, scaring everyone into position. Turned out she spat venom—and—transformed into a massive, terror-inducing albino cobra. "Passion, sex, jealousy, rage, all the normal suspects."

I flapped a hand when Joseph hissed and Taj growled, X clutching me possessively tighter. "Don't bother," I muttered. "You're getting jealous of a dead man."

Ark straightened, his harsh face pinching, as if he'd already guessed where this was headed.

"I'll cut it short; I met someone, he was funny, sharp, and tattooed.2We were together a few months. Then ol' Canine Killer found out, had him kidnapped, and cut him into so many parts there'd be no hope of the police identifying him."

"Jesus," Taj breathed.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "It happens."

"How many boyfriends did he kill before that?" Joseph murmured, his green-brown eyes big and sympathetic. He looked inclined to pull me away from X and bind me up in a hug.

"Two. And one of them was just a hook-up, so killing him was pretty pointless."

"Straighten that line!" Dev barked at the Thenawist demons, who gave him a surly glare and reluctantly obeyed. I smiled, but it felt hollow.

"This one was different," Arkan guessed, not looking away from me.

"Yup. Anyway, I found him with his head cut off his body, spinal cord dangling down, blood all over my flat. I went a little deranged. I let all his pain and suffering fuel my magic—well, what little magic my psycho father let me keep—and then I killed the bastard."

I let out a little laugh at their horrified expressions. Probably the whole spinal cord thing. "But one death wasn't enough.Nothingwas enough. I had all this violent need inside me, and no one to release it on."

X tightened his arms around me, drowning me with love in the bond. I fought so damn hard not to let my voice hitch or my expression shift. I could do this. I could say it.

"I needed more. So I stole Dad's car, filled the boot with candy floss, and went demon hunting. Lucky me, I found a whole gang of them in a warehouse near Heathrow. I thought it was a rave, not gonna lie. I killed them all. Slaughtered them before they could escape; not a single one got free.

"I'm still not actually sure how I did that with only scraps of magic, but maybe my demon side came out to play. I kinda blacked out during most of it. By the time I was done, two hundred demons who lookedexactlylike those over there were dead. I don't remember most of it; the need to kill, to make the whole damn worldsufferdrowned out everything else."

I shrugged, all casual-like. "It was only when I went to get the candyfloss and shove it down their throats that I noticed the fancy suits on some of the guys, and the big, poofy dress one of them wore. They were my enemies, demons I'd been raised to kill, but I looked at them and saw people. How pathetic is that? They had to die for me to see what they really were."

Everyone was silent, probably wondering how they'd ended up mated to a monster, or trying to find a way out of the bond. I couldn't blame them. If they'd been in that warehouse, at that wedding, I'd have killed them too.

"So yeah, that's how I massacred a wedding party. It's someGame of Thronesshit, right?" I laughed.3

X let go of me, and my heart crashed. But it made total sense. I'd been waiting for them to wake up and see what I really was for weeks. X might have hadunlovablecarved into his skin, but that word was for me, straight from my abuser's knife.

It took me a moment to realise X had let go so he could lift his hand, like an eager kid answering a question in class.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice thick.

"Do you know how long it takes me to peel the skin off someone's back? AndthenI've got to stretch it into wings and place them perfectly for maximum impact."

I swallowed.What?

---