Page 61 of Wicked Vow

I’m sure, when I go down for breakfast, that what happened is written all over my face. But neither Sasha nor Caterina questions it, probably assuming I’m just exhausted. No one talks very much until the end of breakfast when Sasha speaks up.

“Do you need help packing? I know you don’t have much with you–but we’re leaving tomorrow morning. I can help if you need it–”

“It’s okay.” I force a smile so that she knows I’m not upset with her. “I can handle it. I know you want to spend time with Caterina and the girls.”

Caterina had decided to keep Anika and Yelena out of school today, so they could all have one more full day together before Sasha and Max go back to Boston. “We’ll go out to lunch later,” Caterina says, glancing over at me. “If you want to come?”

“That sounds good.” I push my plate away, feeling a wave of exhaustion wash over me. I’m half inclined to go back to sleep until then.

Instead, once I’m back up in my room, I work on packing. Sasha was right that I don’t have a lot–mostly just the things that Caterina helped me buy once I’d arrived here–and I look at the two dismal suitcases, wondering what I’ll need to start something that looks like an actual life again.

I can’t stay at others’ homes forever. I’ll be at the McGregor estate with Max and Sasha for a little while, but at some point, I’ll have to think about what it is that I’m going to do with my future, how I’ll go about finding an apartment or a house, what all of that looks like for me. Viktor had said to me a few days ago that he’d help with finding out if there was any way to access the frozen accounts in Moscow that contains the fortune I should be heiress to. Still, until that’s settled or I get a job, I might as well be broke. If it weren’t for my connections here and my sister, I’d be homeless.

It’s strange to realize that, after a lifetime spent without a worry.Maybe teaching dance lessons isn’t so far away,I think to myself as I flop back onto the bed, breathing in what I imagine is the lingering scent of Mikhail still on the pillows. My chest clenches as I think of him, an ache spreading through me, but I try to push it away.

What’s done is done. I have to find a way to move forward.

There’s a knock at the door, and I sit up, startled. “Come in?” I swing my legs off the bed, pretending to still be busy with one of the suitcases, as the door opens and Caterina steps inside. “I thought we had a bit until lunch still? I need to change–”

“You have a visitor.” Caterina looks slightly uncertain, as if she’s worried about how I might react. “It’s Erik. I had him go to the smaller living room downstairs if you want to talk to him, but if you don’t–”

“It’s fine.” I stand up, tugging the hem of my t-shirt down and wondering if I should change now. “I’ll go talk to him.”

I really do consider changing, glancing at the outfit I’d laid out for lunch, but I decide against it.He can deal with talking to me in a T-shirt and jeans.Whatever he has to say, I’m determined that this is going to be our last conversation. He might have business in Boston, but it has nothing to do with me, and I want to keep it that way.

I can apologize once more for what happened at the club, hear him out, and then we can go our separate ways.

He’s sitting down when I walk in, but he stands up immediately, walking to meet me halfway. His jaw and around his nose are still bruised, and his lip split at the side, but the swelling has gone down a good bit. Still, it’s clear that Mikhail got in several good blows, and I feel a flicker of guilt.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, gesturing at his face. He doesn’t make a move to go and sit down again, and I’m glad, because I’d rather stay standing. “I really wish that hadn’t happened. If I’d known–”

“I know.” Erik gives me a rueful smile, running one hand through his short hair. “I came to apologize, too, for what it’s worth. I overreacted last night, when you came in, and it wasn’t right of me. You came to make sure I was alright, and I took my anger out on you.”

Gentlemanly and polite.I can see why Caterina and Sasha keep trying to push us together, but it’s not going to work. In another life, maybe–before my father died, when I was still someone expected to marry a certain type of man. But now all those expectations are gone, and the only man I want is the only one I can’t–or shouldn’t–have.

“I appreciate the apology,” I say carefully, keeping space between us. “We both have things to be sorry for about last night, I suppose. But I know you didn’t mean it. It was a shock for us both. So I think we can accept each other’s apologies and call it good?”

“Well, I–” Erik frowns, shifting as he looks down at me. “I know that it wasn’t a good way to end the night. You must have been appalled at all of it. But I know it wasn’t your fault, what that man did. I’d like for things to not end like that.”

“What do you mean?” I’m fairly sure I know what he means, but I want to hear him say it.

“You’re going to Boston to stay with your sister. I’ll be in Boston for a while, too, working on business. I’d like to give things another try there–you and I. A fresh start, away from your ex here, and the bad memories.”

Fucking hell.I don’t know who let it slip that I was going to Boston–Caterina or Sasha or Viktor, and I suppose he would have found out eventually anyway, but I’d been hoping that he might not know. I grit my teeth, forcing my frustration down, so that we still have a chance of ending this pleasantly.

“Thank you,” I say calmly, trying to ignore the roiling emotions in my chest. “But no. I think it’s better if we just end things here. This was–never going to work, anyway.”

“Why would you say that?” Erik looks at me confusedly. “I thought we had some good nights together. I was looking forward to spending more time with you–deepening the connection between us. If there’s something that you’d like me to do differently–”

“It’s really not that.”Well, it is, but there’s also a better and easier excuse, so we don’t need to get into that.“It’s not you–”

“Please don’t say ‘it’s me,’” Erik says, his mouth twisting in grim humor. “Natalia–”

“I’m pregnant.”

The words hang in the air between us, and Erik’s eyes go wide for a moment. “You’re–”

“It happened before I came to New York. Before I met you,” I add, “lest you go thinking that I’ve been running around Manhattan taking inallthe sights, so to speak. I found out just before I left Moscow, actually. So I wasn’t looking to date anyone. But Viktor and Caterina pushed us together, and I wasn’t expecting it to go further than one date. No offense to you,” I add quickly. “But I wasn’t expecting to date atall. I hadn’t thought there’d be a reason to need to explain it. But now, since you’re so intent on continuing this–” I spread my hands helplessly between us. “You see why it’s impossible.”

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