Page 64 of Wicked Vow

“What are you thinking you’ll do now that you’re in Boston?” Ana asks, jolting me out of my thoughts. “Not that youhaveto decide to do anything just yet, but have you thought about it?”

I nod, taking another small sip of my cider. “I thinkmydancing days are probably finished. Between the challenges of starting with a new ballet company and the baby–I don’t see it happening. But I’ve thought a lot about teaching dance. Maybe even opening my own school, working towards teaching higher-level ballet eventually.”

“I think that’s a fantastic idea,” Saoirse says as she leans forward to refill her glass of red wine. “Besides that, I think there’s absolutely a place for you on the foundation board. Caterina is working on managing a branch of it in New York soon, as I’m sure she’s told you. You know her well–you’d be an excellent person to go back and forth between here and there. All of us are a part of it, and there’s plenty to do. We have our next meeting at the beginning of the month–you should come. See what you think, if it’s something that you’d be interested in.”

“I’d love that,” I tell her honestly, and I can see Sasha beaming out of the corner of my eye. I can tell that it’s making her happy that I’m fitting in so easily, that the others like me, that I can see a future for myself here. I know all the things she’s thinking because I’ve thought the same things–what it would be like to have our babies close together, to see them grow up together. And now I can see it with not just ours, but with Ana and Saoirse and Isabella’s children too, Caterina’s when they come to visit. I can see a happiness that I never expected for myself–a life thatIchoose, without being bound to a marriage I don’t want or a family I’ve been forced to create, without a duty that I want no part of holding me back.

My life can be my own. And I can already see it taking a shape that I think will bring me happiness.

It feels like the fresh start I so desperately wanted.

We stay up late, talking and laughing, and I feel happier than I have in a long time. I feel at home.

It’s well past midnight when I finally head up to bed, a few of the others still in the living room, their voices drifting companionably upstairs behind me. I take a shower before bed, feeling safe and peaceful, staying under the hot water until my fingers wrinkle a bit and I’m so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open, before I get out and dry off, changing into something to sleep in.

I’m standing at the edge of the bed, running leave-in conditioner and a comb through my hair, when I see my phone light up on the nightstand.

It’s not a number I recognize.

In an instant, the peace I’d felt starts to evaporate. I feel that knot of anxiety forming in my stomach again, the feeling of being followed, stalked, that I’d managed to briefly forget. I’d felt as safe as I could possibly be behind the iron fence surrounding the McGregor estate, in a place where my only tie is Sasha, where I felt the furthest away from my old life.

But in the instant that I pick up the phone with a shaking hand, all of that fades away.

I’m watching you. I see you. You can’t stay away from me forever.

I close my eyes, feeling nausea rise up and tighten my throat. I think of the night I’d spent with Mikhail before I’d left New York, of how different it had felt from every other time, how I’d believed him when he’d said he wanted to change. That he’d stay away from me, if that was what I wanted.

Looking down at the message, I feel like a fool. Like I’ve been tricked all over again, except this time, I should have seen it coming.

Fool me once–

I swallow hard, tapping at the screen with sharp, angry bursts, gritting my teeth against the scream of frustration that I can feel welling up.I don’t want to feel this way anymore!

I want to scream it out loud, but instead, I type out the message, hoping against hope that maybe this time it will work. That maybe I can still have a chance at the peace I so desperately want.

I knew you wouldn’t stay away, no matter what you promised,I type, swallowing hard as I stare down at the screen.Leave me the fuck alone. I mean it.

I throw the phone into my nightstand drawer, not wanting to see if there’s a response. I slide into the soft bed, but even as I pull the covers up and close my eyes, I know it will be a long time before I’m able to sleep.

Most likely, an even longer time before I can sleep without nightmares.

Mikhail

“You can’t possibly think going to Boston is a good idea.”

Levin is sitting in my hotel room across from me, leaning forward with his hands dangling between his knees as he watches me. “You know good and damn well,” he continues, “that going to Boston isn’t what Viktor meant when he told you to leave New York. And we both know why you’re going there, so don’t pretend otherwise. One thing I can’t stand is being treated like a fool.”

“I didn’t plan on it.” I let out a long breath, running one hand through my hair. It’s back to its old white-blond, grown out enough that I was able to have it cut down short, all of the old sandy-colored dye gone. It feels good to have that part of myself back, to no longer feel like I have to be in hiding.

Of course, if I’m going to Boston, I’ll have to stay under the radar for a while. The last thing I need is one of the Kings seeing me there or hearing about me and reporting back to Viktor that I’ve followed Natalia there.

“I want to make sure she and the baby are taken care of. Surely you can understand that.”

“It’s not that I don’t understand.” Levin leans back, his expression taut. “I get being in love with a woman that you’re not supposed to be with. Hell, I even understand the feeling of obsession. What Idon’tunderstand is your way of going about it. That was all wrong, Mikhail, and while I know you know that–following her to Boston and watching her from afar isn’t going to make things better. It’s going to drive you insane, and if she finds out, it will probably end with you back here and one of Viktor’s bullets in your head. No one is going to be able to stop him the next time. I’m sure as hell not putting my ass on the line for you if you fuck up again.”

“Noted,” I say drily, standing up as I start to pace. “I’m not going to stalk her. I’m not going to stare through the fence of the McGregor estate or try to figure out where she lives next. But I want to be able to send her money. I want to be sure that they’re taken care of. And if she ever changes her mind–”

“–you want to be there when she does.” Levin lets out a long sigh, shaking his head at me. “Fuck, man, I get it. I really fucking do. But you get how dangerous this is, right? And you understand that she’s probably never going to change her mind?”

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