Page 37 of Wicked Vow

I know I can’t keep her all to myself forever. I’ve learned that lesson well enough. I can’t lock her away and keep her from her friends, her family. I can’t have her all to myself. But if I can convince her that I’ve learned from my mistakes, there might be a chance that I canhaveher.

That matters more than anything.

It’s what keeps me at the back of the room when I see the man dancing with her touch her face, tilting it upwards to his in a clear effort to get her to kiss him, when all I want to do is stride across the room and put a bullet through his skull for so much as daring to touch her, much less trying to kiss her.

I steel myself for the sight of her lips touching his, for the moment when she gives him something that I want no other man to get from her ever again. I try to simmer the burning rage in my veins, to hold myself back–and then I see her pull back ever so slightly, dodging the kiss as she breaks his grasp on her.

I feel something that I’d never expected to feel. I’d steeled myself against jealousy, rage, and violence–but at that moment, I feel hope. I can’t say for certain that she’s thinking about me at that moment, that I’m the reason she pulled away from him–but I know she doesn’t want another man to touch her right now, and that’s enough to make me feel as if there’s a chance. She might have some interest in him, but for whatever reason, she’s holding back.

I haven’t lost her yet, not entirely.

That, more than anything, drives my actions at the end of the evening. I watch the man–whose name I find out is Erik, from what I hear as I risk patrolling a little closer to the table, my cap pulled low as I move through the crowd–as he walks with her back to the table, sitting closer to her than I’d like. He touches her off and on throughout the evening–a hand on her arm, a brush of fingers against her thigh–and though she doesn’t stop him, she doesn’t seem to encourage it either.

I see her touch him once or twice, her hand on his arm as he makes her laugh, and it takes everything in me not to stride to the table and throw her over my shoulder, carrying her far away. But I tried kidnapping her once already–and that’s how we ended up here. I have to keep my self-control intact for as long as I can.

It kills me not to hear what Erik says to her at the end of the night, as he stops her just as they’re preparing to leave. I see his earnest expression, see the way she hesitates, then smiles and nods, pulling out her phone. I’m certain that they’re at least exchanging numbers, and I feel fucking helpless, standing there watching as another man moves in on the woman I want more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my fucking life.

Anything I’ve ever wanted, I’ve just taken. I’ve never competed with another man for a woman–I’ve never cared to. It’s never mattered.

But it matters now.

I can’t bring myself to just go back to my hotel room as they leave. I watch Erik go, splitting off from Natalia and the others, and I have a deep and vicious urge to follow him and put an end to him once and for all. As he walks towards his car, I hang back, fighting the desire as I watch him leave.

If we were back in Moscow, I might have. But I have none of the resources I had there–nowhere to take him, no knowledge of who might notice he was gone–besides Viktor, of course–no easy means of disposing of the body once I was finished with him. My connections here are cut off, and my old means of doing things are not as accessible as they once were.

It feels as if my hands are tied, and that fucking infuriates me.

The only other thing I want is to see more of Natalia. So instead, I return to my rented car, where I’d parked it in a garage some distance away, and drive towards Viktor’s estate.

I give myself plenty of time to let them get there first. It’s a risk to sneak onto Viktor’s property again, but it’s only a little later at night than the last time, so the security patterns should be much the same. I park far enough away that no one will spot the car, hiding it well off the road, and walk the rest of the way, my heart beating hard in my chest at the possibility of seeing Natalia again.

It’s easier for me to avoid the security patrols than it should be. I know the patterns, but even so, I can’t help but think that Viktor needs to fire whoever is in charge of them. They should be changed up, varied, so that someone who wants to sneak onto his property can’t easily learn the ins and outs. He’s gotten complacent.

But right now, it’s to my benefit.

I slip along the outside of the house towards the garden, intending to get up onto the balcony again if I can manage it. There’s a tree next to it that, if not easy to climb, ought to be at least manageable so long as I can stay quiet.

I scale it as quickly as I can, slipping over the edge of the balcony as I keep an eye out for any security that might be in the garden outside of their usual route. Staying close to the edge of the house, I peer around the edge towards the door–and see that the room is dark.

Fuck.It’s late for them to not have already gone to bed. I look out over the garden, scanning to see if Natalia is out for a walk, but there’s no sign of her outside either. And there’s no noise from inside that I can hear.

Carefully, I lower myself down, creeping around the edge of the door as I look inside the dark room as much as I’m able, trying to move slowly and stay hidden. As I peek toward one side of her room, I see that the personal effects on her dresser and the clothes in the hamper are gone.

I curse under my breath, retreating to the edge of the balcony where the tree is. It seems like she’s moved out of the room for some reason, and that means I have no idea what room in the house sheisstaying in.

She can’t have moved out already.I don’t think Viktor would let her out of his sight so quickly, not with me still in the city, so far as he knows. If he’s going to find her her own place, like he did for Ruby, he’ll do it once he feels sure that I’m gone.

She still has to be inside.

As quickly and quietly as I can, I slip back down the tree, staying near the house as I make my way toward the other side. I have no idea if I’ll be able to find where she’s sleeping, but I can’t leave until I know.

The idea feels unbearable. I can’t speak to her, but I have to see her.

All of the windows on the left side of the house are dark. I grit my teeth in frustration, doing another scan for the guards before I slowly creep around to the opposite side, moving with excruciating slowness.This is fucking stupid.

I know it is, that it’s stupid and dangerous, that it could cost me my life for a glimpse of her, but I can’t stop. I keep going, flattening myself against the wall when I hear footsteps and then continuing on as soon as I hear them going in the opposite direction.

I’m very close to giving up when I reach the other side and see that the windows are dark there, too. And then, just as I’m about to start retreating toward the edge of the property, I see a light flick on.

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