Page 14 of Wicked Vow

Somehow, hearing myself say it out loud now, I feel a shame that I’d never thought I would–or could–feel. I’d thought I’d covered every base, that I’d been thorough and smart–but now, when it’s too late, I see just how much I missed. How many things my driving need for revenge blinded me to–and what I’ll lose on account of it.

“Me,” Natalia says quietly, and Viktor glances at her. “He believed I knew about what happened to his family. That the freedom my father gave me was because I worked closely with him. Which, of course, isn’t true. But he believed it.”

Viktor goes very silent for a moment, looking between the two of us. “What did he do to you?” he asks Natalia, and the barely concealed venom in his voice sends a chill down my spine, the first genuine fear I’ve felt in a long time.

He turns fully towards her. “I’ve known Kasilov a long time,” Viktor says slowly. “I knew he would do the jobs that no one else would. So I have some idea of what he might do, driven by such a sense of rage and betrayal. But, if you can, I would like to hear it from you, so I can make an informed decision.”

I’ve been in danger many times, but I never before understood the old adage of having one’s life flash before their eyes. More than anything else, I think of all the tortures I’ve inflicted on others, and I can see that future for myself, if Viktor is angry enough. In that moment, I realize it’s not death that I’ve ever been afraid of–but a slow one.

I’m all too familiar with how drawn out the end can be, in capable hands.

If I’m being honest with myself, I can’t say that it would be undeserved.

Natalia tells him, carefully, the details of it all. She tells him about her job at the club, about how I’d bought time with her, about how I’d carefully gotten closer to her, made her trust me. Her voice is cool and flat as she speaks. It’s impossible for me to tell how she feels at this moment about it all–if she’s angry, sad, regretful…if there’s any emotion at all besides cool indifference in her veins. She’s ice cold, and as I listen to her tell the story to Viktor, I feel that wash of regret again as I think of how different it could have been.

“I do believe that he thought I was culpable,” Natalia says finally. “And in a way, I understand it. I killed men, getting my sister free. I can’t imagine what I might have wanted to do if she’d been brutalized the way Mikhail’s sister was. Maybe I would have. I can’t know. I don’t judge him for it. But the situation is complicated.” She takes a deep breath. “I’m pregnant. And I’m certain it’s his,” she adds before Viktor can ask the obvious question.

Viktor’s eyes widen. “Well.” He rubs a hand over his mouth. “You’re right; that does complicate things.” He glances behind him, where Ruby has been sitting silent and frozen, clearly terrified, throughout the entire exchange. “No one has explained to me yet who this is.”

“My friend, Ruby,” Natalia says quickly. “My best friend. She helped me immensely while I was in hiding. I’m not sure if I would have managed without her to help me. I brought her with me here because I hoped I might be able to help her in return.” She takes a deep breath. “I know I might not be in a position to ask for things, but you did say you felt you were in my debt. I’d like for you to give her a position as a dancer in one of your clubs, if you might be amenable to that idea.”

Viktor smirks, glancing at Ruby. “That’s an easy favor to agree to.” He turns towards her. “I don’t think Ruby is your real name?”

She shakes her head. “Lena Slednaya.” She smiles weakly at him. “And yes, I’d very much like a job. I can audition–”

“No need.” He shakes his head. “You’re very beautiful, and if Natalia vouches for you, then I am prepared to give you the chance she is asking for.”

Viktor steps over to the wall then, pressing a button, and the door swings open. I tense instantly as one of the guards walks in.

“Release both of the women,” Viktor says curtly. “Leave Kasilov bound.”

My stomach is curdled with fear. Natalia stands up as soon as her hands are free, rubbing her wrists, and Viktor inclines his head towards her.

“I’m sorry for the restraints,” he says, glancing between her and Ruby. “I hope you can understand the caution I needed to take, until I understood what was going on.”

Ruby nods, as does Natalia. “I understand,” Natalia says. “But what now?”

I’m wondering the same fucking thing.I want to say it aloud, but wisely keep my mouth shut. I know the ice that I’m on right now is very fucking thin, and I’m having a hard time wrapping my mind around how things went so very differently than I’d envisioned it.

Natalia had always been the one who would win this game, before she’d even ever known it. Neither of us had known.

And now I’m going to pay for my mistakes.

“I can understand if you want him dead,” Viktor says, looking at Natalia. “But I have to admit, I’m loathed to kill him. I know now that he was loyal to me and my family and organization, even if he failed to take any meaningful action to back that up, and even if the belated action he tried to take was–well, ill-informed, at best.”

He rubs a hand over his chin. “There was a day when I would have killed him simply for that failure–but I’ve tried to be a better man since my family was rescued. My wife, in particular, has made me a better man. Something that I think more men could learn from.” He pauses, glancing towards me and then back at Natalia. “I can’t condone what he did to you, either, however. So I’d like to hear what you wish.”

My gut clenches. I’m not certain that Viktor will kill me, but I also doubt that he’ll let me leave without punishment. And he’s giving Natalia a voice in this–which means that my fate might rest, at least partially, on how vindictive she feels.

I can’t blame her if she calls for my head.

Natalia pauses, looking at me, her blue eyes seeking out mine. There’s a tangle of emotions there that I can’t fully parse out, and my chest clenches at the look on her face.

“I don’t want him dead, either,” she says finally. “I understand why he did it, even if it was hurtful. And he is my child’s father. I can’t be responsible for his death. I–” She breathes in, her face smoothing. “I need to look forward now and figure out what my future is. I don’t want to taint it with choosing to punish him further.”

I sit there, frozen, as it sinks in. And I feel that crushing weight of guilt again.

“Understood.” Viktor looks back at me, his expression hard. “I think you came back here with the expectation that I would hear your story, see your loyalty, and invite you back with open arms. That will not be the case.”

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