Page 35 of Meet the Surrogate

It was fast and I found myself wanting to stay in his arms all night, but I didn’t know if that was something we were doing. So, I crept through the dark house and made my way back home.

I crawled into my own bed after running through washing my face and brushing my teeth. Curling up under the blankets, I stared at the ceiling and wondered if I was making a mistake. I wasn’t the type to not care. I always cared and I cared hard. Sleeping with the Hawke brothers, sharing little moments with them, it was a dangerous game. I’d forget the reason I was there eventually and then be crushed when I had to face the facts. I wasn’t in their league. They didn’t want me with the kids, just the kids. I’d leave with nothing and I had to remember that.

I was a coward, because by the time the sun came up, I’d decided that I needed to take some space of my own from the men. I sent a message with Bea that I was sick and just needed some time to rest and feel better. Then, I hid in my swing, reading and trying not to think about what I was doing.

27.

***Memphis***

“They’restartingtocirclelike sharks. You’re going to have to come out eventually.” Bea stood with her hands on her hips in front of me and shook her head. “They’ve asked me everything from if I thought you had the flu to if I thought you’d somehow contracted Havannah Syndrome. I’ve never seen them hover before and I have to say, I don’t like it. They’re like needy little boys. I have plenty of those at home. I can’t even find them attractive anymore, Memphis. You’re killing my spank bank material.”

I gaped at her. “Did you really just say that?”

She grinned and shrugged. “What can I say? They’re sexy.”

I closed the book I was reading and stood up from the swing. “I’m not ready. I just need a few more days.”

“It’s been a week!” She threw her hands up. “They’re halfway convinced you’re dying.”

I chewed on my lip, unsure of what to do. I knew it was crazy of me to think I could avoid them until I felt stronger, because I wasn’t ever going to be the kind of stronger I’d need to be to face them and walk away unscathed. “Okay. I’ll come out and see them. I need to go to the pharmacy first, though.”

“Whew. I’m so glad you said that because I already told them you were feeling better and would be coming out today.” Bea smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”

I felt nerves bubbling to life and made my way inside. “You’re terrible. What if I couldn’t do it?”

“I would’ve dragged you out. You don’t understand, Memphis. They’re driving me crazy. Every time I walk out of here, they’re on me. It’s not in the sexy way I’d always imagined, either. It’s terrible.” She followed behind me and even trailed me into the bathroom. “I’m so close to ending up onSnapped.”

I stared at my reflection and quickly brushed my teeth. I pulled my hair back from my face with a few clips and met Bea’s gaze in the mirror. “Why are they acting like that?”

“Obviously, they like you.” She grunted. “Or they like trying to nail you to the floor, through the bed. Whichever, they’re being nuts.”

I groaned. “You’re awful, you know that? Stop saying it like that.”

“Well, it sure as hell didn’t sound like they were making sweet, gentle love to you.” She shrugged. “I’m not judging. I’d pay to have my husband screw me like he hated me.”

I motioned for her to leave the bathroom. “You’re not helping!”

“I’m so helping! What did you need from the pharmacy?” She pulled open the medicine cabinet that I hadn’t bothered searching through. “If it’s not here, you may need an actual doctor.”

My eyes landed on the pregnancy test and I slowly reached out to touch the top of the package. “It’s been long enough that a test might show, right?”

She grabbed the test and pushed me towards the toilet. “Oh, my God. Yes, I think. I never used these things with my kids. I just got a nice surprise each time another one came. Sit down, sit down!”

I grunted as I stumbled. “Jeez! Can I get some privacy or are you going to watch me pee?”

“I’m freaking watching! Go on, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” She ripped open the plastic around the test and handed it to me once I was seated on the toilet. “Okay, pee!”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “You’re kidding, right? I can’t just pee with you standing here. You’re so close!”

“Ugh, I’ll back up a little. I can’t leave, though. I’m too excited.” She bounced on her feet and kept right on staring at me. “Do you feel pregnant?”

I held the stick between my thighs and sighed. “I don’t know. What does it feel like? I’m not throwing up in the mornings, or anything like that. I just…I don’t know. I feel like it worked. The sex, I mean.”

She heard me start peeing and cheered. “Well, we’ll find out soon!”

A knock at the front door startled both of us and I dropped the test into the sink before wiping and jerking my pants up. I felt caught for some reason. “Who is it?”

Bea rolled her eyes. “I’ll give you three guesses. Go answer it!”

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