Page 60 of Nanny for the Bossholes

“You don’t know?” She gasped. “Guys, she doesn’t know!”

It was the bear attack all over again as nearly every head in the restaurant turned to me. A couple of girls around the same age as our waitress rushed over and leaned on the table to get closer. I was trying to remember what to do in a case of a cult, but I knew I’d never learned that, so I was half under the table when one of the girls shoved her phone in my face.

“Look! Isn’t it so romantic?”

Seeing my face on her phone screen, I grabbed her hand and yanked her closer so I could make sense of what I was seeing. It was a wanted poster. I gasped even harder and nearly choked. “What the hell?”

“Read it, honey!” An older woman called out from the other side of the diner. “Read it and swoon!”

“Oh, I wish I had a boyfriend who would do this for me!” Our waitress leaned into my space and read through the poster aloud. “It says you were last seen breaking hearts at a jail in Dallas and that you’re wanted for theft. Theft of their sanity and happiness! Oh, my gosh. I’m going to cry.”

I read the rest of the poster and felt my eyes going wider and wider until I was sure they’d pop right out of my head. I could hear Dad’s laughter growing louder as he read from someone else’s phone.

“If anyone sees the wanted person, do not contact. This woman is very dangerous and will suck you in with her siren song. Siren songs include reaming us about everything, telling us how much we suck, and being right about everything. She’s beautiful and appears sweet, but much like an enraged cat, she will humble you, even when you don’t want to be humbled. Taking your chances with this woman could lead to you falling in love, starting a family, and being forced to beg in the most dramatic way you can think of.”

Dad wiped his eyes as he guffawed and slapped the table. “Oh, sweetheart. They pegged you.”

I cast a dark look at him before looking back at the phone.

“Her crimes are very serious and punishments will be considered as such. When caught, she will be held accountable, over a knee, and punishments will continue until she accepts a life sentence with the men whose hearts she has in her possession.”

“Oh, look at this! It gets even better.” One of the girls shoved another phone at me. “It’s like a romance novel!”

I stared at a still image of Zander, dressed in one of his suits, until I tapped the screen and a video started. Zander, with longer hair and desperately needing a shave, looked into the camera and I felt like he was right there, staring into my soul. It was no wonder all the women were swooning.

The screen split and a pretty blonde smiled warmly. “You and your brothers have caused quite the commotion, Mr. Graves. For men who kept to themselves for so long, why this? Why now?”

Zander didn’t shift. “We want Aggie to come home to us. We found that love is more important than privacy or pride.”

“Why the wanted poster?”

The corner of his mouth lifted just enough to make my heart race. “To anyone who knows Aggie, they understand. She’s a force. In another life, she was probably a gun-toting crusader for good. A wanted poster felt right for a woman like her. Plus, we thought it would spur her into action.”

“Have you heard from her yet? We heard from a source inside her family that she’s on a road trip with her father.” The screen shifted to a video outside of Dad’s farm and Donnie’s face appeared.

“Oh, God, no.” I looked up at Dad and shook my head. “No, not Donnie!”

It was indeed Donnie who grinned into the camera and spoke while flexing his muscles. “Oh, Scoot’s gonna go nuts over this. She’ll probably murder all three of those boys and end up on a wanted poster for real. It’s pretty cool, though. My baby cousin is all famous for stealing hearts. Scoot, if you’re watching this, love you, girl!”

Zander’s face was strained when the screen returned to him. He was trying not to laugh, I could tell. “We haven’t heard from her, but I have a feeling we will soon.”

“Are you and your brothers worried about this embarrassing Aggie?” The reporter, bless her, sounded reproachful. “Her cousin seemed to think she wouldn’t like all this attention.”

“Well, she should’ve come home then.” Zander shrugged. “Aggie belongs with us. We’re ready for her to come storming in.”

“To put her over your knee?” The table giggled around me at the reporters teasing question.

Zander looked down at his hands and up at the camera through his lashes. “Aggie knows what’s waiting for her.”

My nipples hardened and my panties became uncomfortably damp, both things that left me feeling horrified while sharing a table with a horde of teenage girls and my father. I handed the phone back to the hand reaching for it and leaned over until my forehead was resting on the tabletop.

“He’s so hot. Are you going to go back home to them? You have to, right? I mean… They’re all so hot and they love you.” The girl giggled. “Plus, it sounds like he’s into spanking!”

Dad choked on a glass of water he’d found somewhere and waved his hand in the air. “Dad here! We are not talking about spanking. That’s my daughter’s butt you’re talking about on the other end of that hand and I was wiping that butt not too long ago, so it’s too awful for me to think about.”

I screeched as I yelled at him. “Dad! Don’t say that!”

“So, is spanking as good as they make it sound in the books?” Another of the girls leaned in, her attempt at whispering as quiet as a jet engine. “I was thinking about it, but I’m dating the quarterback and his hands are huge. I didn’t like getting spanked as a kid, so I just don’t know.”

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